Carl never lied to me. From the very beginning he told me that he was straight and that while he wasn't interested in switching teams, he had no problems with gay guys, well obviously. He was a lot more to me than just some straight guy that let me suck his dick three times a week, he also was a good friend to me and saw that I met the right people around the school. He introduced me to a couple of teachers that I could really rely on for advice and to a bunch of sports guys on the football and basketball teams. It was really cool that he didn't like pretend that he didn't know me or something. I mean we never let on about the service that I was providing him but he kinda took me under his wing and since it was almost like I didn't have a family, well it's like he was my big brother, a good one.

On the days that we did have sex or maybe more accurately on the days that I blew him, it was always the last thing of the day and he never rushed me thru it. He never made me feel like I was just a way for him to get off. He let me set the pace and then afterwards he'd drive me home and we'd stop downtown and get a cup of coffee and he sit and listen to my problems. Carl was the best thing in my life.

When I came back the next year as a sophomore Carl was a senior and I was beginning to think about the time when he'd graduate and go on to college. I had quite a few casual friends but so far Carl was the only one that I was having sex with and since I started doing him I never really thought about looking for someone else. I really didn't even think that I knew how. So pretty much like with every other problem that I had I asked Carl about it one afternoon when we were going for coffee.

We slid into a booth at Starbuck's with our coffee and I leaned over and we continued our conversation.

"Carl, what am I gonna do?"

He laughed softly and shook his head. "Danny, it's a year away." He sighed. "But I have been thinking that maybe you should meet other people."

That made me nervous. "Whadya mean other people? Carl, you make it sound like you don't think we should be doin it anymore."

"Calm down, Danny. It's not that, it's just that my girlfriend is pushing for more sex right now and I was thinking that maybe we should cut back to two days a week."

"Carl!"

"Danny, will you let me finish? I think that I know of another guy who might be interested."

That stopped me for a moment but then, "Carl, it won't be the same! What if he doesn't really like me? The great thing about you is that we get along so well."

He grinned. "My cock doesn't have anything to do with it, huh?"

I said what I was thinking. "I love your cock!" He laughed softly at my enthusiasm.

I wanted to tell Carl that I loved him just as much as I loved his cock but I didn't know how he'd take it and even though I didn't mean it in a romantic way I was afraid that he might take it that way and get all panicky.

He rested his chin on his hand and said, "I won't do anything that'd be bad for ya. I gotta check this guy out some more. But until I've done that it wouldn't be fair to tell you who he is but I will tell you that he's on the varsity baseball team."

"Have you seen his dick?"

He grinned at me and fixed those blue blue eyes on me but didn't say anything. I said, "Okay, that sounded a little slutty. I guess it doesn't matter as long as he's a good guy."

Carl said, "That's better. I hope you don't think that you and I are just about my cock. I'd like to think that you're also my friend."

I kinda felt like a louse and stared down at the table. "I do too, Carl. I just really hate the thought of you going away to college."

"Danny, I'm not dropping off the planet, even after I leave you can still IM me or call. I do expect to hear from you. But, hey, this is a year away. We're getting all sad for nothing."

When I got home I was really in a funk. I knew that his leaving was a year away but it was also like a switch had been thrown and the process had been started. I checked my inbox and pulled out a square cream colored envelope. My mom, dad and I all have a plastic file thingy that's screwed to the kitchen wall and if there's mail for one of us or messages they get put in there. It's also turned into a great way for them not to speak to me at all. If I need money for school I just put a note in Mom's file and a day or two later a check appears in mine, or a denial. It was an invitation from Mr. and Mrs. Harold Vernere. I was invited to the wedding of their daughter to my brother Robert. It was the first I'd heard of it and I pitched it into the wastebasket under my desk. I knew that I should care or at least be angry that no one had even mentioned it to me before but I wasn't surprised.

I looked around my room, it was like living in Holiday Inn. It was nice enough and I was thankful for that but my mom freaked if I tried to put anything up on HER walls so the place just felt........institutional.

I looked at my watch, it was 5:28 and we always ate promptly at 5:30 so I headed to the dining room. My mother would never have called me if I didn't show up. I was expected to be there and that was pretty much that. They didn't yell at me at the dinner table and they would even occasionally say something to me like "Pass the salt" or something but it was never anything about me. If we had a dog I would have loved to sit on the floor and eat with him, it'd be better than eating with these people. At least with a dog I'd have unconditional love.

Hey, I sound like I'm whining and I really don't mean to, I've got it pretty good. Maybe they do ignore me but the stuff my dad used to do he doesn't do any more and the rest of it I've been familiar with for a long time. They give me a reasonable allowance and if I'm on time I never miss a meal and that's better than a lot of kids have it. The only time it really hurts is when my brother comes home and I see the way that they treat him but what the hell, like I said, it's not new and after he gets married maybe he'll come home less.

A couple of weeks later Carl came over to me while I was studying in the library at school. He slid into the chair across from me and leaned forward conspiratorially. He whispered. "I got things set up."

I looked up confused. "Huh?" I really had no clue what he was talking about.

He laughed. "Concentrate dufus. The baseball player I told you about, he wants to meet you."

I was suddenly very nervous. "He does?" I could hear the tone of my voice getting higher.

His face dropped. "You don't wanna meet him?"

"No! I do, really, Carl. I just didn't figure that'd be this soon." I ran my fingers thru my hair. "What's he like?"

"Okay, lemme tell ya how this all happened." He stopped and ducked his head while a couple of students walked behind him and then resumed.

"The guys name is Jeremy Lawlor, he's the pitcher."

I was astonished and said, "He's gay?"

"Not really, my guess is bi, maybe not even that. He originally hit on me, you know we had been watching each other in the locker room and the showers. So finally a couple of weeks ago and he starts bringing up the subject of sex and how his girlfriend isn't all that reliable when it comes to putting out. His girlfriend is Lorie Campbell."

I blurted out. "She's a slut! Well, I mean that's what they say." She was also gorgeous and so was he. I remember watching him pitch and noticing a sizable lump in his uniform pants. Jeremy Lawlor was one of the many jocks I had been lusting after but figured that I had no chance with.

Carl grinned. "Well apparently only when she's in the mood. Either that or she's cheating on him."

I was incredulous. "Who would cheat on him?"

He laughed. "You're a fan?"

I could feel myself blushing. "He's nice looking."

He grinned. "Just nice?"

I sighed. "Okay, more than nice, he's fucking hot! I can't believe that he wants to have sex with me."

"You know, Danny, you're pretty hot yourself."

"Did that football hit you in the head?"

Carl's voice was stern. "Don't put yourself down!"

I opened my mouth and then shut it. Carl doesn't get mad much.

"I mean it Danny. It's stupid. Look in a freakin mirror. I wouldn't say it unless I meant it." That was true, Carl never said stuff he didn't mean.

"Okay...........I.........nobody ever taught me to think stuff like that about myself."

"Danny you got girls hangin all over you. I saw it at Vinnie's party last week. You think they're doin that cause you're ugly?"

My voice was quiet. "I figured they liked me cause I was a track guy."

Carl fixed me with those intense eyes. "First of all, Danny, you're not just a track guy, you're the track star. You are that fucking team, they were never anything until they got you. Second, I hear those girls talking about you all the time, saying how fucking cute you are, so get that into your head."

I really wanted to get Carl off of the subject of me. "So what's this guy like?"

"Well, nice looking but you know that. I haven't told him your name yet and I won't until you tell me that I can but he is anxious to meet you." He sighed. "I didn't tell him what you and I do, exactly, just that you liked guys and.............well, that you took care of me." He ran his hand over his forehead and frowned. "That doesn't sound great does it?"

I laughed. "It is accurate."

"I wasn't goin for accurate I don't want him thinking you're............"

I interrupted. "Queer?" He flinched at the word.

"Danny!" He shook his head slowly and said, "Fuck! Why can't you be straight and still like to suck cock?"

I laughed out loud and got shushed and a stern look from the librarian. I leaned forward and lowered my voice. "Carl, I don't mind being gay. Sure there's things that I'm not crazy about but man I love to suck cock. I love the way guys smell and the way they look and the way they act and fuck...........just fucking everything."

Carl had his head down but looked up and grinned. "Yeah, you do seem to enjoy it."

"So when do I meet em?"

"Soon, the guy's pretty horny. When do you want to meet him? He said tomorrow or the next day is good. He wants to meet by his car or rather truck. He always parks in the far west corner of the lot and it's a red Ford F150, you can't miss it. So like tomorrow at 3:00?"

I was feeling a little more comfortable with the idea because it seemed like Carl had given this guy a lot of thought. "Yeah, tomorrows good."

"Danny, I told Jay that besides the sex you had also become my friend and that I didn't want you fucked over so if tries any shit with you that you don't want I wanna hear about it. You got that?"

I nodded but he wanted more than that.

"Danny, I wanna hear you say it."

I grinned at him and said, "Yes, Dad, if he tries to fuck me over I'll tell ya."

Carl grinned back at me. "Good."

We were enjoying beautiful early October weather. The sun was warm and the wind dry and if you drove a little way out of town the farmers were working at a steady clip to get the corn harvested. They were days when a sweater wouldn't be a bad thing to have on hand but wasn't absolutely necessary.

I got up at 5:00 the next morning and went for an hour long run. Running was like breathing to me only better. Running calmed me and gave me time to put things into perspective. It's funny cause people ask me all the time how I can run so far or so fast like it's this big physical exertion thing but strangely, when I'm running I don't really even feel it, it's more like this peaceful state that I move into and zone out. It's like I'm aware of the beginning and the end, physically that is, but the rest is just like being in heaven.

I was still dealing with the thought of Carl leaving in a year and that led into me thinking about the time that I'd leave. My parents had never said anything one way or the other but I assumed they would be paying for college but the more that I thought about that the more I decided that I couldn't count on it. I decided to ask some of my teachers what they thought my chances at a scholarship would be.

When I got home I showered and then picked out my clothes carefully. This is what Jay would see me in and I wanted to look as good as possible but I didn't want to look like I had worked all that hard at it. Looking in the mirror I ran my fingers thru dark brown hair. I decided that my face did have a nice shape and a strong chin with a dimple but my best feature were my gray eyes, maybe because the contrasted with everything else. They did really pop.

I thought about him winding up to throw a pitch and the way that his package was kinda bunched up when he did that and how his black hair was always sticking out from under his ball cap and the tip of his tongue would make a quick appearance between his lips before he threw. He always got this really intense stare when he pitched and it made my balls tighten. I thought about tasting his cock and had to shut my eyes tight and force it out of my mind so I could continue getting dressed and getting to school.

I was standing nervously by his red truck when I saw him walk out of the school hook the light jacket he was carrying in his finger and sling it back over his shoulder. It seemed like he fixed me with his eyes from a hundred yards away and they never left me. He walked with the grace so typical of athlete's and I watched his crotch and then his eyes. Maybe I was imagining it but what I thought to be his dick seemed to get bigger as he walked towards the truck.

He unlocked the door of the truck reached in and pulled on a ball cap then turned to me and said, "You're Danny, right?"

I nodded and mumbled, "Yeah."

He said, "Get in."

I went around to the passenger side as he leaned over and unlocked the door. I slid in next to him. He held out his hand and said, "My name is Jay Lawlor."

"I know, I watch you pitch."

He grinned. "You like baseball?"

"Pretty much. Track's my thing but I like to watch it."

"I've seen you run, you're fast."

"Thanks."

He had both hands on the wheel but hadn't made any attempt to start the truck. He said, "Carl talked to ya?"

"Yeah."

"Well I guess you wouldn't be here unless you were interested. There's just one thing." I stared at him and waited. He looked back at me with determination. "I make all the decisions about what we do and how we do it. I told Carl that I'd never hurt you and I won't, at least not intentionally and any time you wanna stop all you gotta do is tell me and I'll drive you back here or to your house or..........wherever but if you do stay with me you do what I say. Can you handle that?"

"And I say stop and you stop?"

"Instantly..................but there's no do-over's. Once you say stop.........we're over...........no hard feelings but also no coming back. Got it?"

For some reason I started getting hard the minute Jay started talking and you coulda cut steel with it now. I held out my hand. "Deal." He shook it and started the truck.