Addie put her hand on the side of my face and smiled. "You've got Joel's number?"

I nodded. A big part of me was screaming that I didn't need any other shrink but her but even I knew that was wrong. I was beginning to think this whole going to college thing was maybe a mistake. I was scared but I was also excited.

"I gave him your email address and your cell phone number but it'd probably be faster if you called him." I bit the inside of my mouth and she gave me a look. "Danny, you promised."

"I will, Addie. I just gotta get settled."

"Danny, I'm checking with him next week and if you haven't called I'm gonna be knocking on your door." I felt Robert's hand land on my shoulder.

Addie looked up at him. She sighed. "Okay, I'll wait in the car. You guys talk."

Robert squeezed the back of my neck. "Okay, you've got your cell, there's money in your account, and you've got your cash card. Oh......wait a sec." He pulled out his wallet. "I got this Mastercard for you. It's only for emergencies and you really shouldn't need it. The bill comes to me." He grinned. "This is not for funding drunken orgies or any shit like that." I smiled back at him.

He held me out at arms length and looked at me. I knew that there were tears beginning to form in my eyes and he pulled me to him and wrapped his arms tightly around me. "I swear to God I feel like I'm your dad." He kissed the side of my head. "Well........you probably need that more than a brother anyway."

It's funny because I could picture this weird scene in my mind along with all the history attached. Here I am crying and being held by my big brother who, not that long ago, I would have sworn hated me.

I was half laughing and half crying. "I don't think I wanna go to college. Can't ya just take me home with you and Addie?" You'd think with my home life that I'd be thrilled to get away, and I was, at least happy to get away from my parents, but not from Robert and Addie.

I could hear his voice choking up and he shook his head slightly. "I dunno how the fuck parents ever drop their kids off at school. This totally sucks." He took a deep breath. "I can tell ya from experience, Danny, it does get better and quickly. But you gotta jump into it. It's your home for the next four years so you just gotta suck it up and do it."

"I know." And I did.

Robert's arms dropped away from me. "I'm only a phone call away and I got you unlimited calling on your cell." He reached out and brushed the tears from my cheeks. "We want you to call a lot. We expect you to. Frankly if you don't, Addie's gonna go nuts." He smiled and said gently, "And we don't want that."

I sat down on my bed and looked at the other side of the room, Dodger's side. I knew it was Dodger's side because I got an email from him two weeks ago telling me we were going to be roommates. He was neat. His bed was perfectly made with hospital corners and his desk was perfectly arranged with his big Dell laptop cleanly centered on the forward edge of the desk. Also on his desk was a framed picture of his family; a mom and dad that he kinda looked like and three brothers and a sister. They looked happy and very fit. Even his mom looked fit. I could picture all of them out on their lawn on a warm Sunday afternoon tossing a ball around, a big happy family.

I looked around me at the full boxes littering my half of the room and decided that I needed to get laid more than I needed to be neat. I fished around and finally pulled out a map of the campus and searched until I found the library. The Cruising for Sex website said the basement john was like Sodom and Gomorrah, at least on the right day. I stuffed a couple of condoms and a small tube of lube into the pocket of my cargo shorts and headed out.

The bathroom stall that I was sitting in had had the door removed and I was staring thru the doorless doorway and across the corridor at a gray painted concrete block wall. The other two stalls had their doors removed too. The gray steel walls on either side of me were covered in graffiti. It looked like some serious attempts had been made to eradicate it but obviously it kept coming back. At some point they must have thought about stripping the entire metal panel of paint because there were large swirls where the paint had been cleared all the way down to the base metal, but they hadn't continued. I figured that it dawned on the maintenance dude that he was fighting gravity, trying to hold back the tide and then he just figured "Fuck it." Or, what the hell, maybe he was gay too but figured he had to act like he was trying to get rid of it. It feels really stupid to be sitting here with your pants around your ankles while you stare at a concrete wall.

I had been sitting on the toilet for twenty minutes and not a soul had come in but then, literally, the writing on the wall did say, "Be Patient!"

Finally I heard the door creak open but it didn't close right away, like someone was thinking about coming in but wasn't sure. Then it slammed and I heard footsteps clicking on the hard tile floor.

He was about six feet tall with dark brown hair and he walked ramrod straight. He walked past and dropped his head a bit but kept on walking towards the urinals that were off to my right. He was wearing loose jeans, a white wife beater and a long sleeve sport shirt that was open and his walk had that kind of jock quality to it.

I heard him pissing. It sounded like a horse in a field, just, you know, letting go and it seemed to go on forever. He zipped up and then, nothing. He didn't move or make a sound for a couple of minutes but then walked slowly past me again but glanced quickly at me with a slight smile. To the left of the stalls were the washbasins and he went there. I listened while he slowly washed and dried his hands.

The next time he appeared he stopped in front of my stall, grinned, leaned against the concrete block and stared at me. His hands were in his pockets with his feet crossed. He looked totally relaxed. I covered my cock with my hand.

His voice was surprisingly deep and confident, almost arrogant. He said softly and with a little smile on his face, "You look like you need a good fuck."

I stammered half amazed that I was sitting here having someone say that to me and wondering where the fuck he got the guts to do it, "I dunno."

"You really do need to get fucked, don't ya?" The small smile was still on his face, but rather than it being arrogant it was oddly comforting.

I again whispered, "I dunno." Of course I did know, but I never really expected anyone to ask me that.

He pushed off from the wall and stood directly in front of me. He smelled of soap with a faint undertone of sweat. He held out his hand.

"Gimme your hand." It was a quiet order.

I tentatively extended it towards him and he gently held the back of it in his own hot hand. He smiled at me again and then pressed my hand slowly but firmly against his crotch. I could feel that he had a massive hardon.

He spoke softly. "It's all yours, baby, and don't tell me that you don't need it." It felt so alive, so hot and alive.

I swallowed hard and said, "What if someone comes in?"

"Won't happen, but if it does, I'll take care of it." I couldn't really think of anything he could do if that happened but I was pretty sure that he would handle it.

"I don't wanna be hurt."

He looked almost shocked. "Fuck! I ain't gonna hurt ya! I'm gonna make ya feel fucking fantastic! Baby, I'm gonna give ya a nice slow fuck in that pretty little ass of yours." He started running his hands over my hair. "Gonna make you feel so fuckin good you'll be beggin me to do it forever." He grinned. "You know you sure are pretty. Cool fuckin eyes! Now why don't you let me make ya feel good?" It was like he was reading my mind, like he knew exactly what I was there for. His slow words were hypnotic.

I looked up at him and blinked. "My name's Danny." He gave me an odd look. "If you're gonna fuck me we oughta at least know each others names."

He laughed and held out his hand. "Mike." I shook it and laughed with him.

I started to get up and pull up my pants. "So where we gonna do this?"

He nodded to the left. "Just on the other side here.......by the urinals."

That made me nervous. "Somebody comes in and we're totally screwed though!" Mike's hands were all over me now, rubbing my neck, brushing my nipples and squeezing my ass.

He was leading me gently around the corner while he was kissing and nibbling my neck. His voice was a throaty murmur. "I'll take care of it, Danny. The only thing you gotta think about is how great my cock is gonna make your ass feel." He sure was a good salesman. Me and my butt could hardly wait and that intense desire to be bred was spreading throughout me like the tentacles of some weird alien creature taking over my body. I couldn't believe, considering all the shit that had happened to me, how badly I wanted this, how badly I totally fucking needed it.

Mike was lightly biting the back of my neck as he turned me to face the gray metal partition while his hands ran over my body. He lifted my shirt in back and crammed it up under my arms. I heard his zipper go down and then felt the warm weight of his cock as it laid against the small of my back while he pressed his chest to my back and continued his assault on the back of my neck. I dropped my head back against his upper chest while his lips and tongue moved on to the side of my neck and it was like making me need this even more and I could feel this whole submissive side of me coming out. I wanted this guy to take me. I wanted to feel him in me wanting me and plowing the crap outta me.

Mike hissed at me, "Fuck! What an ass you've got!" He hunched his hard cock up against my back

I could feel myself opening to him willing him forward wanting to be dominated, to be possessed but as soon as he started to push into me I disappeared and came up into another time. In my mind, remembered sensations were exploding, my knees raised and straddled Carl's flanks as he fucked me. His body felt like a wild eyed animal, the muscles bunching and then stretching as his huge cock was crammed deep into me pushing aside anything in its way and rearranging my insides as he took total control of me.

Carl glared down into my eyes with a mixture of raging anger and overwhelming sadness. His big hands were on either side of my head holding me in place while his cock battered my guts.

When he dropped his head to kiss me it was a smothering attack, an assertion, a claiming that left me gasping for air and feeling like I now belonged to him. Was that what really bothered me? Had Carl made me his only to then leave?

When he came he gave a deep guttural yell and sank his teeth in my flesh while his cock pumped buckets of his hot cum into me, so much cum that his still pounding cock forced it out in great pulses where it ran down my ass an on to the dirty floor.

He cried into my neck, "I fucking love you, Danny, I'll always love you!" Finally I could feel his cock moving slowly, gently out of my body. It was like my insides were being pulled out behind that huge receding cock.

Then everything changed and I could feel Mike's lips on my shoulder kissing and nibbling. His voice was low and comforting. "Baby, you were great!""

I heard a loud wrenching sob and then realized that it had come from me. Mike pulled me back against his chest and said softly, "You okay?" I nodded yes. "You sure? You don't fucking sound okay."

I nodded again trying to get myself under control and then said, "I'm sorry. I just remembered something....something that happened once."

"A guy?"

I wiped the tears from my face and nodded.

"He hurt you bad." It wasn't a question.

"He didn't mean to." I really didn't want to talk about this, and tried laughing but it didn't sound convincing even to me. "You're pretty good at this." I wanted to change the subject but it was true he was great at fucking.

He smiled. "I'm the fucking best!" He pulled up my shorts and tried to get me organized. "I gotta get going. You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah. It's just that this was..........."

He said, "The first time since him?"

"Yeah. I'll be okay now."

"Sure ya will. Wanna do this again some time? You're a great fuck."

I had to laugh. "I bet you say that to all the boys."

He grinned back at me. "Hey, when it's true it's true."

I really didn't want him to think I was crazy. "I hope I didn't freak you out."

He laughed. "No, it's cool. Danny, I'd love to do this again but..."

"But what?"

"I'm not really into the whole love thing."

I gave him a questioning look.

"You kept saying you loved me. I don't wanna do that. I mean it was a great fuck and all but I don't wanna go further than that."

I had to smile. "That's cool." I didn't have to heart to tell him I hadn't been talking to him.

"So you didn't really mean it?"

"Not the way you think."

He parted his lips like he wanted to say something but then just shoved his hands in his pockets. "Hey, I'll probably be here the day after tomorrow, you know, about the same time."

I looked up at him. "Maybe, but I still gotta meet up with my roommate and figure out what the fuck I'm suppose to do and when."

He kissed my forehead and said, "Well if you're here, you're here. Don't sweat it. It's not like a date or nothing."

It was about four o'clock when I got out of the library and it was hot, nearly ninety degrees but fortunately dry, very typical of late August in the Midwest. I walked past the huge dusty dry oak tree near the entrance to the building. It had that look, that look of imminent change.

I smiled and wondered how many of the students and parents that I was walking past could ever guess that I had just been fucked in the ass, in a public restroom. My ass felt loose, open, used and fantastic.

I swung over to the student center and ate a really bad for you dinner while I watched that parade of studs. I wondered what it was gonna be like living with Dodger, whether he'd ever want to do anything or if he was going to try to stay straight. From what he had said that summer it sounded like he could do either but thought he ought to stay with the baby making team. Finally I dumped the trash and chugged the remains of my Coke and headed for the dorm, but just as I was leaving the student center, I stopped suddenly in my tracks. There at the other end of the building stood Carl......or at least someone who looked so much like him. I slumped back against the wall of the hallway so that I didn't pass out. My breath was coming in ragged gasps and I slid down the wall until my head was between my knees and I could breathe. It couldn't have been him, and when I looked up, whoever it was was gone.

He was at Notre Dame. I was sure. It was just because of the fuck and the memories that it brought back. It had to be. I hurried back to the dorm and when I pulled open the door of our room there was another surprise sitting on my bed.

"Mike!"

His head shot up and he began to stammer. "Danny! W-w-what the fuck?"

Dodger jumped up from his bed and then looked from Mike to me. He looked surprised and almost sounded angry. "You guys know each other?"

I held out my hand to Dodger, and after a moment he shook it. I said, "We ran into each other at the library and got into a conversation. You guys know each other?" Mike seemed to exhale for the first time since I walked into the room and Dodger seemed to relax too.

He looked at Mike. "I can't believe you actually went to a library. You do know that that's where they keep books."

"Yeah wise-ass, I know that but my dad is gonna kill me if I don't look like I'm actually learning something."

Dodger wrapped his arm around my shoulders. "Mike and I are teammates and friends. Whadya think of the room? Pretty cool huh?" I didn't get the cool but it seemed okay. About what I expected anyway. Dodger squeezed my shoulder again and then turned me around to face Mike.

"Danny and I are neighbors. Well from the same town anyways."

"It is cool but I'm draggin you down with the way my side looks. I gotta put my stuff away. I've been walking around the campus but this place is so strung out I'm not sure it makes anymore sense than it did earlier."

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Mike watching us both closely. Dodger said, "I was just telling Mike that I ordered a couple of pizza's. You guys wanna come with me or what?"

Mike was shaking his head no and I said, "Lemme just get started on my crap. I didn't realize that I had pissed away so much time. You get em this time and I'll go next time."

Dodger smiled and glanced from Mike to me. "Yeah...that's good. One thing I gotta do before I go is piss. I'm fucking floating." He walked into the bathroom and in a moment yelled for me to come in.

I stood there next to him while he was holding his very nice dick and pissing. I didn't even bother trying to hide that I was checking it out. It was incredibly weird. His voice was a stern whisper. "Danny, you gotta watch out for him."

"What? Why?"

"He's a very aggressive guy....sexually." Dodger looked frustrated. "You understand what I'm saying?"

"I dunno.....I guess I do. You mean he might attack me or some shit? He's gay?"

I....I dunno if he's gay or bi or what the fuck he is, but just watch yourself....okay?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, sure."

Ninety seconds after Dodger was out the door I was bent over my bed with Mike's cock up my ass...again.