The Good Doctor 11
Jase and I are in my mom’s basement going through boxes
and she’s going nuts upstairs. It always make her crazy
when I prowl around the basement. She’s probably buried
someone down here and is afraid that I’ll unearth something
that I shouldn’t.
I’m sitting on the floor with my legs crossed and Jase
is sitting in my lap because that’s the closest he can
possibly get to the main action. We’re looking for my
baseball glove but seem to have found a box of games, Clue,
Monopoly, stuff like that.
“Can I play these games, Dad?” I
remember how when I was a little kid it seemed like the stuff
had was the most interesting stuff.
“I think that these games might be for older people,
Jase. He twists in my arms to look up at me and I kiss his
forehead. He doesn’t bat an eye, he’s used to being
“How come, Dad? I think that I
could play with these.”
“Mmmmm, I don’t think so, Kiddo. Let’s grab
that other box.” I lean all the way over to my right
and grab the box. Jase comes along for the ride. I pull the
heavy box over to us. Pete loves me. He said so.
The door at the top of the stairs opens
and my mom yells down. “Are
you boys all right?” I can hear the frustration in her
voice. “Eric, don’t let Jason hurt himself!” Gee,
Mom, I thought that it’d be okay if he played with the
axe. It makes her nuts that anyone would take her grandson
into a basement where there are, at least to her mind, dangerous
things. I guess that I can’t fault her for caring.
I yell back. “Mom! Will you relax? Jase is fine.” She
stamps her foot and closes the door. I can’t believe
that anyone actually stamps their foot………..about
I kiss the side of his neck and whisper
in his ear. “You
are fine aren’t you?” Jase never bores me. Maybe
just because he’s my son but I could sit and hold him
and talk to him all afternoon. He’s still such a miracle
“Yeah, Dad, I’m fine.” He’s bouncing
but unfortunately for me he bouncing on a spot he shouldn’t
be bouncing on and I roll him off to one side while I grab
a more likely looking box. “Bingo!” I reach in
and pull out the glove and ball.
“See, Jase! That’s the glove
and ball that I used to play with when I was a kid.”
He takes the glove and looks at me. He’s having a hard
time imagining his dad as a little boy. There are a lot of
people who don’t find it all that difficult.
“When you were a little boy? When you were like me?” He
smells the glove and smiles. Kids aren’t afraid of dirt,
at least little boy kids.
Those plastic containers that they sell
at the supermarket, the disposable ones, changed my mother’s life. Before
they came on the scene my mom was limited to giving away only
as much food as she had dishes or Tupperware for, but now the
sky’s the limit.
She’s making ravioli and concentrating hard. The pasta
has been rolled out into long thin sheets and she’s carefully
placing the filling at intervals. Jase ducks in between her
and the counter so that he can see what she’s doing.
She talks to the top of his head. “You wanna watch grandma
making ravioli?” She bends and kisses his forehead as
he looks up at her. “Jason, did you know that my grandma
taught me to make ravioli?” She looks at me and smiles. “She
was a wonderful woman.”
The memory of my grandmother is like
a painting that’s
been on the wall for a long time. My actual memories of her
are so distant.
“Eric, I got a roast pork in the oven. You’ll
stay till it’s done then you can take some home.” Gotcha,
Mom, no problem. She stared at me for a moment. “You
know, I think Jason could be a cook.”
“Nah, I think that he’s gonna be a baseball player.” She
glances at me but correctly assumes that my comment doesn’t
deserve an answer. Why do I taunt her?
She waves her ravioli cutter at me. “Are those the only
pants you own? Every time I see you you’re wearing those!
I thought you bought some new things?” The remembered
feeling of his warm arms around me while he kisses me goodbye.
He’s so strong. I can feel his cock start to get hard
as he kisses me.
“I get em tomorrow, Mom. But I thought that I’d
keep em for good, you know special occasions.” She just
stares at me. It’s a joke, Mom!
“Special occasions! Eric, you don’t have any special
occasions.” Well, that’s true. “You need
clothes for every day. You can’t wear blue jeans for
the rest of your life.” Why not?
Pete loves me. Commitment.
“Hmmm?” Did she say something?
“Eric, pay attention! I’m cutting the pork into
chops. I cooked it with the bones in because it always makes
the meat taste better. But they’re big chops, one is
a serving and maybe even more than Jason can eat.” We’re
surrounded by food, some cooked, some raw and lots of stuff
waiting, big cans of olive oil with bright labels, mounds of
green vegetables, like a restaurant.
Jase and I both carry stuffed shopping
bags full of food to the car. Jase has already been stuffed
with pork and ravioli
because my mom really doesn’t trust me to make sure that
he eats. Actually, in this she’s right, I never force
Jase to eat, encourage a bit but never more than that. I figure
when he’s hungry, he’ll eat.
My shopping bag also contains my old baseball glove and ball.
Pete is taking off his sport coat as
we walk towards the bedroom; Jase is skipping ahead of us.
Pete’s eyes show fatigue
but Jase doesn’t see that and eventually Pete pulls him
up into his arms. As I’m hanging up his coat I pull a
stethoscope out of his side pocket. He has a suit and three
sport coats in my closet, clothes that were brought and left,
a convenience to save a trip. By accident he’s already
got a better wardrobe in my closet than I do. Yes I smell his
clothes! Sometimes I put his sport coat on even though it’s
too big for me but his scent lingers.
I smile at him. “This qualify as
bringing work home from the office?”
He sits on the bed and lays back pulling
a laughing Jase with him. I hand him the stethoscope and
he puts it on Jase, carefully
positioning the earpieces in Jase’s ears. Jase is ecstatic.
Pete puts the other end against his own heart.. Jase is almost
speechless, a real aha moment. Baseball has lost a potential
player and I have a feeling we’ve created a doctor.
While Jase is laughing and playing doctor
Pete reaches for my hand and then pulls me to the bed. He’s paying a lot
of attention to Jase but his quick glances at me are electric.
He’s still holding my hand. He’s said that he loves
me and I’ve wondered how that could possibly be true
but I suddenly realize that, at least from one point of view,
it doesn’t’ matter because I’m totally in
love with him. How did that happen? How did these feelings
get to be so deep? It occurs to me that I think about him all
day long. How can that be? That’s so unlike me but unlike
me or not I know that I need Pete in a way that I’ve
never needed anyone.
Jase is straddling his chest and being
a totally “in
you face” kind of little kid.
Pete turns his head to look at me and
smiles; his dark blond hair droops over tired eyes. “Whadya say we have a glass
of wine? Been a bitch of a day!” I can feel the heat
that his body is generating, heat and the slight scent of soap
I get up and pull him up with me, Jase giggles and gets dumped
on the bed for a moment until Pete scoops him up and carries
him into the family room setting him in front of the television.
Once we’re in the kitchen by ourselves everything changes
and we’re in each others arms, his tongue deep in my
mouth. This passion has been building and it’s not a
sudden thing. I think that maybe it’s the mutual realization
that we really are in love, that it’s not some freaky
coming together thing that’s gonna fall apart next week.
We’ve done the physical thing, the sex thing and we know
that that works on a couple of different levels and that makes
us free to come to terms with the whole love thing. Commitment.
Holy fuck this is scary!
He knows how much I love him. He gets
that somehow makes it even better. Normally it might bug me
that somebody had an edge, that they knew something about how
I felt that put me at a disadvantage but with Pete, I want
him to know and his knowing makes it better. Fucking weird!
His hand is on the back of my neck and every time I try to
talk he kisses me. Finally I slump back against the kitchen
counter and smile at him.
“You’re not gonna let me talk?” We
Italians HAVE to talk!
He pulled me forward and pressed my forehead
to his chest and pressed his cheek to the side of my head. “You
I nod my head against his chest and mumble. “Genetic.
Can’t hold it back.”
He groans quietly. “Then just talk about how much you
love me. Tell me that I’m all that you’ll ever
need.” He pulls his head away for a moment and smiles
at me. “I wanna be your hero.” He actually means
that! Pete laughed and pointed both of his index fingers at
me like six shooters. “You know, like the Lone Ranger?” He
wrapped his arms around me again and spoke quietly. “Okay,
so that’s maybe a bad example. I just wanna be the guy
you always turn to, the guy that you know that you can count
I put my head back where it had been. “You are my hero.” I
laugh because I can’t believe how true that statement
is. “You actually are you know.” I can feel the
heat of his skin through his shirt. God! I can’t believe
that I’m saying this to anyone! And the weird thing is
that it’s fucking true.
“Should we be feeding Jase?” Pete’s
thumb is massaging the back of my neck.
“He’s been fed, actually more like force fed.
We stopped by my mom’s house.” I push my crotch
into his, not that I’m looking for sex, well at least
not right at this moment but it’s nice to know that I
can keep him at least half hard. I’m pushing thoughts
of his long, immensely hard thick cock, out of my mind.
Pete reaches over to where I’ve
left an uncorked bottle of wine, he pours with his left hand
while his right is holding
onto the waistband of my pants.
“I made a reservation for tomorrow evening at that new
Chinese restaurant downtown.” Pete looks at me. “You
do remember I committed us to that?” Because I’m
a fucking idiot.
“Your mom likes Chinese food?”
“She tolerates it…………..barely.
More importantly, my dad loves it. Which, of course, drives
her crazy but it’ll be better if he’s enjoying
himself. And she’ll have to deal with dad and his love
of Chinese food and I figure that that’s gotta draw a
little fire from us.” Taken in the context of my mom’s
love of Italian food, actually it’s more than love, it’s
a wonder that they never got divorced over my Dad’s whole
Chinese food thing cause I just know that my mom could like
bury a ten inch chef’s knife into his chest every time
he take a bite of that stuff. Surviving my mom is a question
of balancing myself somewhere between what she hates and what
she loves. How do I not have an ulcer?
He dropped his shoulders and held out
his hands palms up. “Eric!
She can’t be that bad. You sure that you’re not
building this up in your mind to more than it is?”
It’s a question that I’ve asked myself a thousand
times. My mother loves me. That’s something that I’ve
never doubted and yet………..and yet there’s
this need in her, this need to control. She would have a made
a good man. Well, maybe not.
I dished us out salads and took our glasses
of wine to the table. Jase came galloping into the kitchen
just as we were
sitting down and pretty much forced his way up onto Pete’s
lap. Geez that kid is pushy! Clearly Jase is crazy about Pete
and this is what I really really want………..really!
Yet there’s this tiny little bit of my brain, just maybe
like five cells that gets jealous when Jase goes running past
me and climbs up on Pete. I mean, I’m his dad so isn’t
he suppose to like me better than anybody in the whole fucking
world? Yeah……I know that he does and I know that
Pete is just this cool new person in his life and he’ll
always be coming back to me. I’ll adjust to this………..I
know that I will because I love Pete too, so we’ll work
it out. I’m nuts! Jane is right!
Pete has a forkful of salad in one hand and a glass of wine
in the other and Jase kneeling on his lap facing him.
“Pete, can we go see your house?” Jase’s
hair is dark dark brown and is getting a little long. I should
probably get it cut but it looks pretty good on him.
“Jason, give Pete a chance to eat his dinner.” Jase
gives me a quick look, expertly judging just how necessary
it is to pay any attention to me. Jase points toward the garage. “It’s
just down the street, right?” Pete has put his food down
and his hands are resting lightly on Jase’s shoulders
steadying him so that he doesn’t fall.
Pete looks seriously at Jase, he never
treats him like a kid, never dismisses him. “We can, Jase, but it’s
pretty much like your house. Most of the house on this street
about the same.
Jase is not to be deterred. “I
just wanna see it, Pete.”
“How bout after your dad and I eat? The three of us
could walk over there and you could look around as much as
you want.” Where is Jase going with this? What’s
percolating through that little head?
Jase looks quickly at me again and then
nods yes. “Okay………..but
as soon as you guys are done, okay?” His eyes never leave
mine. “Is that okay, Dad?” I must have a look in
my eye because he turned on Pete’s lap to face me. He
looks very serious and he’s twisting his fingers. “Don’t
be mad at me.” Am I mad at him? I don’t ever get
mad at Jase………..but he’s reacting to
I get up and walk around the table. I
kneel down next to Pete and gently place my hand on the Jase’s back. I keep my
voice not just low but also soft. “It’s okay, Sweetheart.” I
grin at him. “We’ll go over to Pete’s house
and poke around.”