The Good Doctor 15
“Go slow? I haven’t even
“It feels like you started. I’m
pretty sure that I felt something.”
“Pete, believe me, when I start you’ll
“Well just don’t cram it in! I’m
not used to it like you are.”
“Like me? It’s not like I’m
some slut! It HAS only been you, you know!”
“I know, I didn’t mean it
that way and when you were just using your fingers it felt
“Kinda like a prostate exam?”
“Eric, we don’t use two fingers
for prostate exams.”
“Well, now you know how to do it
“Great! I start using two fingers
for prostate exams I oughta end up with an interesting practice.”
“Okay, well I’m gonna start but don’t be
such a baby, it might hurt a little………..at
“Shouldn’t you be like………..sticking
your tongue in my ear or something?”
“I will, I will but I gotta get
this started first!”
I positioned the head of my dick and pushed slowly and steadily
I pull Pete’s head to my chest
and his hair is brushing against my face. I want to chew
on it. His body is molded to
“You hated it didn’t you?” I know that he
hated it. Anyway, I’m of two minds on this whole thing.
I mean what if he loves getting fucked and then that’s
all that he wants to do? There’s some advantage to having
a dedicated top.
“I didn’t hate it! It was just different. Nice
in a way……………once I got past
the pain. It’s something that I gotta think about……………..I’m
not sure how I feel about it.”
“Pete, when you’re not sure how you feel about
something, you didn’t like it.”
He lifted his head and looked up at me. “No really………….I
didn’t hate it but it’s something I gotta think
Pete scouched up on the bed and wrapped
me in his arms. He buried his mouth in my neck for a moment
and then pulled back
and looked into my eyes. “Look………..I
love anything that we do together.” Did I ever mention
that Pete has a really hairy chest?
“Dad I gotta pee.” Jase was
staring up at me while I was rinsing the shampoo out of my
“So pee!” Then on second thought. “Don’t
pee on my feet! Pee toward the drain.”
Jase turned around and pee’d pretty close to the drain
of the shower. “It’s okay to do this, Dad?”
Oh…..yeah………there is that. “It’s
okay to do it here, Jase, in your own shower………with
me………or by yourself. Just don’t ever
do it anyplace else………like the shower at
the gym……………..or anyplace grandma
is and for gods sake don’t ever tell her. Some people
might not like it…………actually probably
most people wouldn’t like it……………so
just do it here. Understand?”
Jase had finished and turned around to
face me while I started washing his hair. “Is it doin something wrong, Dad?” He
blinks up at me through the water, those hazel eyes are so
“Nooooooooo. It just that………….well
like the shower at the gym for instance, you don’t really
know those guys and they don’t really know you. So, like,
you really don’t know……………..you
know…………..if they’re sick or
not or something like that and they don’t know about
you. So that’s why you don’t pee in places like
“Is it okay if Pete sees me pee
in the shower?”
I laughed at the thought. “Sweetheart, if you even think
that there’s a chance of Pete seeing you pee in the shower
be sure and call me.”
“Eric honey, I’m gonna come over there and strangle
that fucking bitch you got working for you!” Oh God!
Why can’t they leave me alone?
“Rose, you know the address, what’s
“You know what that little bitch did? She changed my
fucking order! After I specifically told her that I needed
exactly that number of soldering heads, the bitch changed it!” They’re
all gonna outlive me. These women will be standing on my grave
having this same fucking argument. “Eric? Oh he died………..something
“Oh fuck, Rose! I’m sorry. How many do you need?
I’ll have one of the guys run em over to you.” I
know that she doesn’t need em. I know her usage better
than she does.
“Two dozen but that’s not the fucking point!” I
just know that she’s gonna feel the need to tell me the
fucking point. “The point is that that dried up old cunt
has no fucking idea how many soldering heads I need and no
fucking idea whether or not her assholedness is shutting down
my entire fucking line!!!!!!!!” Do women pee in shower?
I better not ask right now.
“I knoooooow, Rose! Whatdya think that I’ve been
living with here? The woman is nuts!” Wow! I can still
feel Pete’s goodbye kiss from this morning. He always
holds me by my belt when he kisses me goodbye. Funny that that
should feel so good, being held like that. It makes me feel
I smile to myself and decide to fuck
with Rose’s mind. “Funny………..I
mean I never thought that Jane was one to notice but she said
that she saw you at the mall and that she never realized what
great taste you have.” I can hear the brakes in Rose’s
mind screaming as they slam on. “I mean I always thought
that she thought of you as the enemy but she still noticed
how well you dress. Course you do dress well.”
“Just exactly when did she see
“I dunno, Rose. She didn’t say. She was rambling.
You know that she can’t stand talking to me anyway.”
“Well, I was there with my daughter the other day. We
were picking up something for her husbands birth……………………………….
You lying sonofabitch! Eric you are totally playing me! Me!
Your probably only true friend in the whole fucking world!
“Speaking of fucking………..did
you and your hunky doctor play switcharoo?”
“Yeah. But Pete didn’t like it and while that
bothered me at the time I’m thinking now that maybe it’s
best that he not get too used to it. I like bottoming! I like
the way that Pete feels like he needs to seduce me and kinda
keep me in the mood. I love it when he dry humps me, like there’s
no fucking way that he can wait till the evening to do it again.”
Rose sounded wistful. “Oh…………I
remember that………..the touching, the kissing.
Eric, you are soooo fucking lucky!”
As I slip in the back door, the one from the garage that leads
into a little foyer and then into the kitchen, my mother is
on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor. Jase is standing
in the other doorway to the kitchen staring at her with a worried
Mom is staring at the area of floor that
but she talking to Jase. “It’s okay, Honey! I was
gonna have to wash the floor anyway.” She’s shaking
her head slowly. “Does your father realize that he spills
“”Mom! You don’t have
to wash the floor.”
She’s a bit startled and glances up at me. “What?
You’re gonna wash it?”
“Mom, I wash it all the time!” Lie. “You
caught like the one day when it didn’t happen to be clean.” Lie.
Meanwhile rather than risk death by walking across the just
washed floor Jase has taken the long way around and come barreling
through the living room and dining room plowing into me from
the side. I scoop him up.
“Well, I’m sure that, Pete, being a doctor, isn’t
used to living in this filth. You better start keeping this
house clean.” She points her sponge at me. “It’s
not just you anymore!”
“Dad, I spilled something.” I
kissed his neck and growled. It made him squirm and twist
in my arms.
“Whatcha spill, Jase?”
“I spilled a Coke, Dad. It just
slipped outta my hands.”
“He didn’t do it on purpose, Eric! Don’t
I roll my eyes at Jase and then kiss
him. Geez I miss him during the day. I don’t give a flying fuck if he spilled
the whole fucking refrigerator on the floor. “School
was okay today? They didn’t like whip ya or anything?”
He grins and shakes his head. “It was good, Dad!” I
walk him slowly into the family room, him feeling really great
in my arms so warm and alive. I set him down in front of the
television and kiss the top of his head. And now, Mom.
I’m standing at the kitchen doorway watching Mom. She
gives me a quick once over. “You always dress up for
“Yeah, Mom. Dad told me that it’d
probably be best.”
She nods her head and continues scrubbing. “He’s
right, it’s a good idea. Your father always dressed well.” She
shakes her head. “At least then…………he
never went to the business looking like a bum.” She glances
at me when she says it. Meanwhile she’s scrubbed her
way over to the refrigerator and she reaches out and pulls
off the little grill on the front of it near the floor. What
the hell is she doing?????
She’s going all apoplectic and screaming! “Oh
my God! Oh MY God!” Why the hell is she doing this? Who
the hell looks under the refrigerator? This is not normal behavior. “Eric,
do you EVER clean under here? You do understand that the refrigerator
will STOP if you don’t clean under here?”
“Mom, it’s not gonna stop!”
“Eric,” she shakes her head, “I’m
surprised that I even have to explain this to you. This machine
builds up a lot of heat and all these little tubes with the
fins on them are there to get rid of the heat. Sweetheart……………..they
can’t do it if they’re dirty!” I’m
sure that this is all an exaggeration.
“Mom, I gotta shower and help Jase
with his homework.’
She’s yelling at my back. “Homework? He doesn’t
I get out of the shower. Jase is standing there. I dry myself
off and wrap the towel around my waist.
I pick him up and sit him on the vanity
top while I shave. “She
not coming in here is she?”
“I don’t think so but she’s talking to herself……………about
“Hmmm………she always did that, Jase.” I
start shaving for the second time today. “Grandma is…………well,
actually all women are……….well………..they
worry about stuff.”
“What kinda stuff, Dad?”
much everything, Jase.” I take another long swipe at
my face with the razor. “You know, Jase, it’s like
guys don’t think about……………or
even care really, what other guys are doin. Like if you’ve
got a friend at daycare who spills stuff on his clothes it’s
not like you REALLY care about that one way or another.” Another
swipe with the razor. “But women……………..well
somehow women have this need to try to control things………………lot’s
everything……………the whole world.”
I can hear my mother yelling for me and
I ignore it. “So
you had a good day today, Jase?”
He nods a vigorous yes. “Grandma’s
yelling for ya, Dad.”
I keep shaving. “She does that, Jase. It’ll stop.” No
it won’t. Not ever.
“She still yellin, Dad.”
I slump against the wall and wipe the
rest of the lather off of my face with a washcloth. I push
off the wall and help Jase
down to the floor. “Run and get me a pair of gym shorts
will ya Kiddo?” He takes off and I yell after him. “You
know where they’re at?”
He yells back. “On the floor, Dad!”
Jase comes running back and I throw the
towel over the shower curtain rod and pull on the gym shorts.
I kneel down in front
of Jase and pull him to me in a hug. “Why don’t
you watch TV and I’ll help Grandma? Pete’ll be
home soon and then we’ll have a nice dinner.”
I walk into the kitchen and mom is trying
to pry the refrigerator away from the wall. “Wait, Ma, I’ll help ya.” She
looks at me up and down.
“Eric you’re practically
naked! Is that how you walk around the house?”
“Mom, I’m not naked! These are gym shorts. I where
em all the time.” We’re both dragging the refrigerator
slowly away from the wall. It feels like we’re pulling
it through old honey.
“Your father never wears things
“Mom, Dad never went to a gym in his life. Why would
he need gym shorts?” Finally we’ve got the beast
two feet out from the wall and we stop. Mom has got the vacuum
She says, “Okay, get back there while I turn this on.” It
is dirty…………..well, maybe beyond dirty.
The vacuum cleaner feels like it’s a grass cutter mowing
a prairie until it suddenly clogs up. I reach down and pull
the paper off that’s clogged the machine. It’s
a photo, a Polaroid. I remember taking this picture. It was
the day that Janet and I brought Jason home from the hospital.
We had just walked into the house and I made Janet wait while
I ran and got the camera. She looked so vulnerable, so uncertain.
Guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt.
My brain feels like partially set gelatin
all squishy and wobbly and I can feel my mom pushing me into
the living room
and then down onto the sofa. Janet was so vulnerable. Why didn’t
I ever tell her? Why didn’t I know sooner? How could
I do that to her? How could I do it to myself? It’s like
swimming underwater, I have this sense that there’s things
going on beyond me but it seems so distant, so unimportant.
How could I do that to her?
Strong hands on my shoulders; I can feel
the muscles, feel the pressure, the kneading. Finally Pete
moves in front of
the sofa and sits next to me. He reaches over and covers my
hand with his. His body is radiating warmth and I want to just
lean into him forever. He speaks so softly, his voice so gentle. “Can
I see the picture, Eric?”
My throat is dry, it’s like I haven’t talked in
years. “Ye yeah………..here. It’s
a picture of Janet……………and Jase.
He was little.” What the hell time is it?
“She was beautiful. Jase was really
“Is my mom still here?”
“No, she had to take off. She left food…………of
“Your mom fed him and he’s
“I gotta get past this.”
“You will, Babe. It hasn’t
been that long.”
“Can’t keep having these
“Maybe……..maybe you should stop trying to
push this away………push Janet away. It’s
like the harder that you try to push this away the stronger
it becomes. Maybe you oughta include Janet in your life……..in
Jase’s life.” He presses my head to his chest.
You don’t have any pictures of your life with Janet.
It’s like she barely existed.”
I sigh. I’m so fucking tired. “I thought that
it was best. You know……………get
on with your life.”
Pete’s fingers are running through my hair, soothing
me. “Eric…………I think Jase needs
Janet in his life and I think that you need to realize that
it was okay……….that it was part of your life
but that it’s okay.” He’s so solid, so warm
“It was a major fuckup. Really
I feel Pete kiss the top of my head. “That’s a
part of life. Everyone fucks up but look at all the good that
came of it in the form of your son. Why don’t you give
up this whole “purge my life of Janet,” thing?
“It wouldn’t bother you?
You can handle being constantly reminded that I had a previous
Pete buries his face in the side of my neck. And I think licks
me. Oh god that feels good!
“Eric, I think that I can handle it. I mean it’s
not like I didn’t already know.”
“Dad, can we have a dog?” Jase
is finishing his breakfast.
“Daaaaaad, why not?”
“You got me.”
“Dad, you’re not a dog!”
“Woof!” He giggles.
Still giggling. “Dad, you’re
not a dog! Dogs have long floppy ears and tails.”
I get down on my hands and knees and
go after him. “Woof,
woof, woof, woof!”
Jase is screaming and runs to the corner of the kitchen. A
tactical error. He screams as I walk over to him on my hands
and knees, woofing all the way. Maybe my parents used lead
I corner him and end up blowing raspberries
on his stomach as he collapses screaming. We’re both
in our underwear lying on the floor of the kitchen in the
corner, Jase is lying
in my arms trying to catch his breath.
He looks up at me and his eyes are flashing
and his chest heaving. He feels so wonderful in my arms,
like he completes
my world. “You’re not a dog, Dad!”
“Not everyone would agree with