The Good Doctor 15

“GO SLOW!”

“Go slow? I haven’t even started yet.”

“It feels like you started. I’m pretty sure that I felt something.”

“Pete, believe me, when I start you’ll know.”

“Well just don’t cram it in! I’m not used to it like you are.”

“Like me? It’s not like I’m some slut! It HAS only been you, you know!”

“I know, I didn’t mean it that way and when you were just using your fingers it felt great.”

“Kinda like a prostate exam?”

“Eric, we don’t use two fingers for prostate exams.”

“Well, now you know how to do it right.”

“Great! I start using two fingers for prostate exams I oughta end up with an interesting practice.”

“Okay, well I’m gonna start but don’t be such a baby, it might hurt a little………..at first.’

“Shouldn’t you be like………..sticking your tongue in my ear or something?”

“I will, I will but I gotta get this started first!”

“Okay, okay……………just do it!”

I positioned the head of my dick and pushed slowly and steadily forward.

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I pull Pete’s head to my chest and his hair is brushing against my face. I want to chew on it. His body is molded to mine.

“You hated it didn’t you?” I know that he hated it. Anyway, I’m of two minds on this whole thing. I mean what if he loves getting fucked and then that’s all that he wants to do? There’s some advantage to having a dedicated top.

“I didn’t hate it! It was just different. Nice in a way……………once I got past the pain. It’s something that I gotta think about……………..I’m not sure how I feel about it.”

“Pete, when you’re not sure how you feel about something, you didn’t like it.”

He lifted his head and looked up at me. “No really………….I didn’t hate it but it’s something I gotta think about.”

Pete scouched up on the bed and wrapped me in his arms. He buried his mouth in my neck for a moment and then pulled back and looked into my eyes. “Look………..I love anything that we do together.” Did I ever mention that Pete has a really hairy chest?

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“Dad I gotta pee.” Jase was staring up at me while I was rinsing the shampoo out of my hair.

“So pee!” Then on second thought. “Don’t pee on my feet! Pee toward the drain.”

Jase turned around and pee’d pretty close to the drain of the shower. “It’s okay to do this, Dad?”

Oh…..yeah………there is that. “It’s okay to do it here, Jase, in your own shower………with me………or by yourself. Just don’t ever do it anyplace else………like the shower at the gym……………..or anyplace grandma is and for gods sake don’t ever tell her. Some people might not like it…………actually probably most people wouldn’t like it……………so just do it here. Understand?”

Jase had finished and turned around to face me while I started washing his hair. “Is it doin something wrong, Dad?” He blinks up at me through the water, those hazel eyes are so innocent.

“Nooooooooo. It just that………….well like the shower at the gym for instance, you don’t really know those guys and they don’t really know you. So, like, you really don’t know……………..you know…………..if they’re sick or not or something like that and they don’t know about you. So that’s why you don’t pee in places like that.”

“Is it okay if Pete sees me pee in the shower?”

I laughed at the thought. “Sweetheart, if you even think that there’s a chance of Pete seeing you pee in the shower be sure and call me.”

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“Eric honey, I’m gonna come over there and strangle that fucking bitch you got working for you!” Oh God! Why can’t they leave me alone?

“Rose, you know the address, what’s stopping you?”

“You know what that little bitch did? She changed my fucking order! After I specifically told her that I needed exactly that number of soldering heads, the bitch changed it!” They’re all gonna outlive me. These women will be standing on my grave having this same fucking argument. “Eric? Oh he died………..something about stress.”

“Oh fuck, Rose! I’m sorry. How many do you need? I’ll have one of the guys run em over to you.” I know that she doesn’t need em. I know her usage better than she does.

“Two dozen but that’s not the fucking point!” I just know that she’s gonna feel the need to tell me the fucking point. “The point is that that dried up old cunt has no fucking idea how many soldering heads I need and no fucking idea whether or not her assholedness is shutting down my entire fucking line!!!!!!!!” Do women pee in shower? I better not ask right now.

“I knoooooow, Rose! Whatdya think that I’ve been living with here? The woman is nuts!” Wow! I can still feel Pete’s goodbye kiss from this morning. He always holds me by my belt when he kisses me goodbye. Funny that that should feel so good, being held like that. It makes me feel safe.

I smile to myself and decide to fuck with Rose’s mind. “Funny………..I mean I never thought that Jane was one to notice but she said that she saw you at the mall and that she never realized what great taste you have.” I can hear the brakes in Rose’s mind screaming as they slam on. “I mean I always thought that she thought of you as the enemy but she still noticed how well you dress. Course you do dress well.”

“Just exactly when did she see me?”

“I dunno, Rose. She didn’t say. She was rambling. You know that she can’t stand talking to me anyway.”

“Well, I was there with my daughter the other day. We were picking up something for her husbands birth………………………………. You lying sonofabitch! Eric you are totally playing me! Me! Your probably only true friend in the whole fucking world!

“Speaking of fucking………..did you and your hunky doctor play switcharoo?”

“Yeah. But Pete didn’t like it and while that bothered me at the time I’m thinking now that maybe it’s best that he not get too used to it. I like bottoming! I like the way that Pete feels like he needs to seduce me and kinda keep me in the mood. I love it when he dry humps me, like there’s no fucking way that he can wait till the evening to do it again.”

Rose sounded wistful. “Oh…………I remember that………..the touching, the kissing. Eric, you are soooo fucking lucky!”

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As I slip in the back door, the one from the garage that leads into a little foyer and then into the kitchen, my mother is on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor. Jase is standing in the other doorway to the kitchen staring at her with a worried look.

Mom is staring at the area of floor that she’s cleaning but she talking to Jase. “It’s okay, Honey! I was gonna have to wash the floor anyway.” She’s shaking her head slowly. “Does your father realize that he spills this much?”

“”Mom! You don’t have to wash the floor.”

She’s a bit startled and glances up at me. “What? You’re gonna wash it?”

“Mom, I wash it all the time!” Lie. “You caught like the one day when it didn’t happen to be clean.” Lie. Meanwhile rather than risk death by walking across the just washed floor Jase has taken the long way around and come barreling through the living room and dining room plowing into me from the side. I scoop him up.

“Well, I’m sure that, Pete, being a doctor, isn’t used to living in this filth. You better start keeping this house clean.” She points her sponge at me. “It’s not just you anymore!”

“Dad, I spilled something.” I kissed his neck and growled. It made him squirm and twist in my arms.

“Whatcha spill, Jase?”

“I spilled a Coke, Dad. It just slipped outta my hands.”

“He didn’t do it on purpose, Eric! Don’t punish him!”

I roll my eyes at Jase and then kiss him. Geez I miss him during the day. I don’t give a flying fuck if he spilled the whole fucking refrigerator on the floor. “School was okay today? They didn’t like whip ya or anything?”

He grins and shakes his head. “It was good, Dad!” I walk him slowly into the family room, him feeling really great in my arms so warm and alive. I set him down in front of the television and kiss the top of his head. And now, Mom.

I’m standing at the kitchen doorway watching Mom. She gives me a quick once over. “You always dress up for the office?”

“Yeah, Mom. Dad told me that it’d probably be best.”

She nods her head and continues scrubbing. “He’s right, it’s a good idea. Your father always dressed well.” She shakes her head. “At least then…………he never went to the business looking like a bum.” She glances at me when she says it. Meanwhile she’s scrubbed her way over to the refrigerator and she reaches out and pulls off the little grill on the front of it near the floor. What the hell is she doing?????

She’s going all apoplectic and screaming! “Oh my God! Oh MY God!” Why the hell is she doing this? Who the hell looks under the refrigerator? This is not normal behavior. “Eric, do you EVER clean under here? You do understand that the refrigerator will STOP if you don’t clean under here?”

“Mom, it’s not gonna stop!”

“Eric,” she shakes her head, “I’m surprised that I even have to explain this to you. This machine builds up a lot of heat and all these little tubes with the fins on them are there to get rid of the heat. Sweetheart……………..they can’t do it if they’re dirty!” I’m sure that this is all an exaggeration.

“Mom, I gotta shower and help Jase with his homework.’

She’s yelling at my back. “Homework? He doesn’t have homework!”

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I get out of the shower. Jase is standing there. I dry myself off and wrap the towel around my waist.

“Grandma’s mad.”

I pick him up and sit him on the vanity top while I shave. “She not coming in here is she?”

“I don’t think so but she’s talking to herself……………about you.”

“Hmmm………she always did that, Jase.” I start shaving for the second time today. “Grandma is…………well, actually all women are……….well………..they worry about stuff.”

“What kinda stuff, Dad?”

“Aaaaaaaahh…………………..pretty much everything, Jase.” I take another long swipe at my face with the razor. “You know, Jase, it’s like guys don’t think about……………or even care really, what other guys are doin. Like if you’ve got a friend at daycare who spills stuff on his clothes it’s not like you REALLY care about that one way or another.” Another swipe with the razor. “But women……………..well somehow women have this need to try to control things………………lot’s of things………………people, everything……………the whole world.”

I can hear my mother yelling for me and I ignore it. “So you had a good day today, Jase?”

He nods a vigorous yes. “Grandma’s yelling for ya, Dad.”

I keep shaving. “She does that, Jase. It’ll stop.” No it won’t. Not ever.

“She still yellin, Dad.”

I slump against the wall and wipe the rest of the lather off of my face with a washcloth. I push off the wall and help Jase down to the floor. “Run and get me a pair of gym shorts will ya Kiddo?” He takes off and I yell after him. “You know where they’re at?”

He yells back. “On the floor, Dad!”

Jase comes running back and I throw the towel over the shower curtain rod and pull on the gym shorts. I kneel down in front of Jase and pull him to me in a hug. “Why don’t you watch TV and I’ll help Grandma? Pete’ll be home soon and then we’ll have a nice dinner.”

I walk into the kitchen and mom is trying to pry the refrigerator away from the wall. “Wait, Ma, I’ll help ya.” She looks at me up and down.

“Eric you’re practically naked! Is that how you walk around the house?”

“Mom, I’m not naked! These are gym shorts. I where em all the time.” We’re both dragging the refrigerator slowly away from the wall. It feels like we’re pulling it through old honey.

“Your father never wears things like that.”

“Mom, Dad never went to a gym in his life. Why would he need gym shorts?” Finally we’ve got the beast two feet out from the wall and we stop. Mom has got the vacuum cleaner handy.

She says, “Okay, get back there while I turn this on.” It is dirty…………..well, maybe beyond dirty. The vacuum cleaner feels like it’s a grass cutter mowing a prairie until it suddenly clogs up. I reach down and pull the paper off that’s clogged the machine. It’s a photo, a Polaroid. I remember taking this picture. It was the day that Janet and I brought Jason home from the hospital. We had just walked into the house and I made Janet wait while I ran and got the camera. She looked so vulnerable, so uncertain. Guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt.

My brain feels like partially set gelatin all squishy and wobbly and I can feel my mom pushing me into the living room and then down onto the sofa. Janet was so vulnerable. Why didn’t I ever tell her? Why didn’t I know sooner? How could I do that to her? How could I do it to myself? It’s like swimming underwater, I have this sense that there’s things going on beyond me but it seems so distant, so unimportant. How could I do that to her?

Strong hands on my shoulders; I can feel the muscles, feel the pressure, the kneading. Finally Pete moves in front of the sofa and sits next to me. He reaches over and covers my hand with his. His body is radiating warmth and I want to just lean into him forever. He speaks so softly, his voice so gentle. “Can I see the picture, Eric?”

My throat is dry, it’s like I haven’t talked in years. “Ye yeah………..here. It’s a picture of Janet……………and Jase. He was little.” What the hell time is it?

“She was beautiful. Jase was really cute.”

“Is my mom still here?”

“No, she had to take off. She left food…………of course.”

“Jase?”

“Your mom fed him and he’s watching television.”

“I gotta get past this.”

“Janet?”

“Yeah.”

“You will, Babe. It hasn’t been that long.”

“Can’t keep having these little freakouts.”

“Maybe……..maybe you should stop trying to push this away………push Janet away. It’s like the harder that you try to push this away the stronger it becomes. Maybe you oughta include Janet in your life……..in Jase’s life.” He presses my head to his chest. You don’t have any pictures of your life with Janet. It’s like she barely existed.”

I sigh. I’m so fucking tired. “I thought that it was best. You know……………get on with your life.”

Pete’s fingers are running through my hair, soothing me. “Eric…………I think Jase needs Janet in his life and I think that you need to realize that it was okay……….that it was part of your life but that it’s okay.” He’s so solid, so warm and………..there.

“It was a major fuckup. Really major.”

I feel Pete kiss the top of my head. “That’s a part of life. Everyone fucks up but look at all the good that came of it in the form of your son. Why don’t you give up this whole “purge my life of Janet,” thing?

“It wouldn’t bother you? You can handle being constantly reminded that I had a previous significant other?”

Pete buries his face in the side of my neck. And I think licks me. Oh god that feels good!

“Eric, I think that I can handle it. I mean it’s not like I didn’t already know.”

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“Dad, can we have a dog?” Jase is finishing his breakfast.

“Nope.”

“Daaaaaad, why not?”

“You got me.”

“Dad, you’re not a dog!”

“Woof!” He giggles.

Still giggling. “Dad, you’re not a dog! Dogs have long floppy ears and tails.”

I get down on my hands and knees and go after him. “Woof, woof, woof, woof!”

Jase is screaming and runs to the corner of the kitchen. A tactical error. He screams as I walk over to him on my hands and knees, woofing all the way. Maybe my parents used lead paint.

I corner him and end up blowing raspberries on his stomach as he collapses screaming. We’re both in our underwear lying on the floor of the kitchen in the corner, Jase is lying in my arms trying to catch his breath.

He looks up at me and his eyes are flashing and his chest heaving. He feels so wonderful in my arms, like he completes my world. “You’re not a dog, Dad!”

“Not everyone would agree with you, Kiddo.”