The Good Doctor 19
Pete takes a deep breath and then lays his head against the
back of the sofa and stares for a moment at the ceiling.
“I had a patient ask me about us today. Well…….he
didn’t really know that we were an us he had just seen
us together at the mall and he asked me about you, asked if
you were a doctor too.”
Uh oh, this can’t be good. “He thought that I
was a doctor?” Nobody had EVER made that mistake before.
My god, a doctor of what?
Pete smiled and then wrapped his arm
around my head and pulled it to his shoulder. He laughed. “I didn’t know
what to tell him. I mean should I tell him that I’m gay
and that you’re my lover? Should I just let him believe
that you’re a straight buddy, a casual friend? For a
minute I was like frozen, you know, all the old, don’t
tell anyone that you’re gay crap was running through
my head………and then I thought of Jase……how
he hugs me really hard before he goes to bed each night and
I thought how crazy this was……how crazy that I
was even thinking about pretending that this didn’t exist.…that
this wasn’t the most important thing in my life.”
Pete reached over with his left hand and pulled my legs up
onto the sofa and simultaneously stretched out next to me with
his left leg between my legs and the side of his face resting
lightly on my left shoulder. His left hand was gently cradling
the right side of my face, he spoke softly with a husky intimacy.
“I want us to do something………..I dunno…………ahhhhhh,
public I guess. Would that freak you out?”
“Public?” I lifted my head and whispered. “You
mean like sex?” Okay, so it takes me a minute to catch
Pete closed his eyes and groaned. “Eric, I think that
your office in the warehouse is probably about as public as
we need to get……………well………..unless
maybe we go camping or something.” Camping? “No,
what I meant was……………well………..I
know that we’ve only been together for a few months but
we both know how we feel about each other and I think that
we should make it official, or at least public.” He lifted
his head and looked down at me. “So whadya think? More
than you wanna get into? Am I being pushy?” He stared
at me for a while. “Eric? Whadya think?”
“You mean like a commitment ceremony? Yeah, that’d
be good.” I rolled slightly towards him and buried my
face in his neck. “What kind of a camping trip were you
thinking about? I mean where would we go where it would still
be a camping trip and still be somehow public?” Okay
so this is like a semi-sick fantasy of mine.
Pete slid his mouth over my face until our lips met and his
tongue pushed into my mouth. Commitment. Commitment! Commitment?
I broke the kiss. “Where would
we do it?”
Pete smiled at me. “We talking
camping sex or commitment ceremony?”
“Commitment. It seems like we got three choices if we’re
thinking of an at home kinda thingy. Either we do it here,
at your mom’s or at my parent’s house. If we do
it at my mom’s we got a nutcase on our hands and if we
do it at your mom’s we end up with the same nutcase just
moved to a different location.”
“Eric, you’re being unfair. I’ve
never seen your mother behave like that.”
“Yeah, I know. She still wants to make a good impression
on you. Believe me, in a year or so she’s gonna be telling
you how to treat your patients. But the lunches will be great.” I
disentangled our legs and straddled his hips while my head
was lying on his chest and his cock was getting hard under
Pete put his hand on the back of my neck
and kissed the top of my head. “So you’re okay
So am I? How the fuck do I know! I do
know that I love him and not just some kinda half-assed love
but the total real
thing. The thing is that there are some things that you gotta
be ready for even when you’re maybe not totally sure.
Some things you just have to say, “Sure I can do that!”,
even when you’re not really positive. And that’s
not even taking into consideration the whole Jase thing. Cause
it’s like I’m saying yes for him too and it’s
a decision that he’s gotta live with for a long time.
I lift my head and look into his eyes.
There’s no deceit
in those eyes, there’s kindness, intelligence and something
more, what my Grandpa Corsini used to call a standup guy. That’s
the best description of Pete, a standup guy. Not to mention
that something else would be standing straight up if I wasn’t
sitting on it.
I smile down at him. “Yep.”
I finish my laps and swim over to where
Jase is sitting at the edge of the pool with his feet in
the water. “How
Jase holds up his fingers but they bear
no relation to the figure he gives me. “I think fifteen, Dad.” That
sounds about right. “Can I swim now, Dad?”
I hold out my arms and Jase takes a firm hold of my hands
and then jumps in and wraps his arms around my neck and lies
against my chest as I swim backwards.
“Yeah, Dad.” The water is like warm silk and swirls
around us. His black hair is plastered to his head and he’s
blinking away the water.
“Wanna try swimming on your own?”
“Okay.” He looks worried. “You’re
not gonna just let go of me are ya?”
“Nope, my arms will be pretty much around you all the
time but just enough so that you don’t sink. If you can
swim on your own that’d be best though.”
I gently pulled Jase’s arms from around my neck and
positioned him so that both of my arms were under his outstretched
body as he began trying to swim. Of course I don’t know
what I’m doing! This is just the way that my dad did
it with me.
There’s not all that many things that I’m really
good at but swimming is one of them. I swim backwards under
Jase and ahead of him. He seems to feel freer and if he sinks
he’ll just land on me. We make it about half of the length
of the pool and then Jase is getting that, I’m worn out
get me the hell outta here, look on his face and I scoop him
up and walk to the end of the pool and climb out with him in
He’s breathing strongly and I whisper in his ear. “You
did good, Kiddo!”
“I did, Dad, didn’t I? I was swimming, Dad!” Jase
is so mine right now, I mean at this age. I know that he won’t
stay this way and that makes this time with him all the more
We shower together and wash off the chlorine. I dry him off
and comb his hair. The other guys at the gym keep coming over
to say what a nice boy he is and how much he looks like me.
In the car Jase throws his arms around
my neck and tells me that he loves me. It’s one of
those little boy declarations that appear suddenly for no
apparent reason except the joy
of being alive. I pull him against me and kiss the side of
“I love you too, Kiddo.” I
want to talk to him about the commitment ceremony. I want
to know how he feels
about it, how he feels about Pete and I in general and if he
wants to be a part of it.
“Soooooo, Jase.” I ruffle his hair. “You
know how much I like Pete don’t ya?” He knows nothing
of non-sequitors and I add quickly. “Well, you like him
too. You told me that, right?”
“Yeah, Dad, I like Pete a lot!”
“Well, the thing is, Jase, that I like Pete in kind
of a special adult way.” Then quickly. “He likes
me too…………..in that way.” We’re
still in the parking lot of the gym and I finally put the key
in the ignition. “And the thing is that when you like
somebody like that you want everyone to know……………..well,
at least your family and your friends.”
Jase has gotten a kinda worried look
on his face and says. “Do
you still like me, Dad?”
I pull Jase over to me so that he’s sitting on my lap.
I run my fingers through his hair and stare into his eyes. “You’re
my son………………my little boy.
I love you more than anything, more than anyone, more than
myself. That won’t ever, ever change, Jase. No matter
what happens between Pete and me or between me and anyone,
the one thing that won’t ever change is how much I love
Jase nod solemnly. “Does Pete like me too?” He
likes to cover all bases.
“Jase, Pete loves you! He loves you just like you were
his own little boy. That why we want you to be part of this……well,
this kinda party that we’re gonna give. It’s just
a thing where we tell everybody how much we like each other
and then we get to eat a really good dinner.” I can’t
help it. I’m Italian and food is really a big deal to
My dad has a den, or, well, an office, you maybe could even
call it a library. Anyway the totally cool thing about it is
that my mom never, absolutely never, goes in there. This all
came about because of her wildass cleaning of the office twenty
years ago when she not only cleaned it but tossed out a lotta
things that looked like crap to her but that my dad treasured.
The result? A sanctuary. A mom free zone! Apparently there
was a knock down battle with threats of divorce flying. Mom
now treats this room like it no longer exists in her house.
My dad is sitting in his ratty old recliner
by a spreading pool of old and older Field & Stream magazines.
The walls are lined with bookshelves filled with every conceivable
type of book and dozens upon dozens of little things that have
meaning only for my dad and, well, maybe me. Things like the
lure that he caught his nineteen-pound Northern Pike on, and
the ticket stubs from the first ball game that he took me to.
If I leave Jase anything I want it to be this room. Nothing
else in the world will tell him more about his Grandfather
than this room.
“You look good, Dad.” Geez,
he looks like crap!
He looks at me for a moment, raises one
eyebrow and smiles. “Thanks,
Son. The doc says that I’m doin fine….all things
There’s an old leather side chair
next to his desk and I pull it over I close as I can get
to his recliner without
having to kick aside magazines.
“You walkin okay, Dad?”
“As long as I take my pills.” He’s got a
drill bit in his hand and he’s turning it over and over. “They
seem to help.” His glasses are down near the end of his
nose and he’s looking at me over them.
Sometimes my dad is really easy to talk
to and we just fall into this rhythm of conversation and
it’s really great
but other times, like now, it’s like I’m dragging
every word out of him. He knows somehow that I’m here
to talk about something that he doesn’t want to hear
or at least that he doesn’t want to have to discuss.
Why is it that I always feel like I’m ten years old when
I’m around him?
he interrupts me.
“Your mother told me about the ceremony.” That
drill bit just keeps turning in his hand.
Oh! Is this good or bad? Maybe it’s that he’s
so English/Irish and I take sooooo after the Italian side of
the family, it’s like there’s this gulf. It’s
not that he doesn’t love me because I absolutely know
that he does and I love him but well it’s like I want,
even need, to be physical, to touch and that’s something
that Dad’s not good at. With Jase, even if I’m
mad at him and telling him that he’s done something wrong,
I’m always touching him, holding him, letting him know
by my physical touch that I’m there for him.
“Ma did?” How the hell does she know? I purposely
didn’t talk to her about this because I wanted to talk
to Dad first. She’s probably got the freakin house bugged!
I gave a short laugh. “I’m surprised……………..surprised
that she even knew.” I was chewing on my thumbnail. He
“Jason……he’s an innocent, at least
when it comes to your mother’s questioning.” Shit!
It’s not like I can tell him not to talk to his grandmother.
“Ahhhhhhhhh so,” I inhaled deeply, “how
do you feel about it?” I don’t like the way that
this is going at all.
“Well, at first I thought that it was a bad idea.” He
saw the look that I must have had on my face and hurried on. “Now
calm down, I said that was what I thought at first but the
more I thought about that the more that I realized that what
I really had bouncing around in my brain was the thought that
maybe you would still turn out to be straight and I didn’t
want you to jump into anything that might stop that. Dumb,
I was beginning to get aggravated. “I’m
not straight, Dad!”
He waved me down into my chair. “Calm down, Eric, I
know. And though you may not totally believe me, it’s
fine with me that you aren’t. That is after all, who
you are. The problem here has never been who or what you are.
The problem has been with my thinking on it.”
“Really?” I didn’t expect this. He’s
not normally like this. Normally I’m to blame………..for
“Course you’re gonna go to hell……but……I
guess there’s not much that we can do about that now.”
“Dad!!!!” He’s laughing.
“Kidding, Eric! Good Lord, Son, you got no sense of
humor at all.” Stroke? Heart attack? Stroke? Heart attack?
“They’re all crazy!”
Pete pushed my hair off of my forehead
and kissed me. “I’ll
take care of you, Babe.” He moved his right leg up between
my legs until my balls are resting gently on his upper leg.
We were lying in bed and turned towards each other, his right
hand was moving steadily over my body, light touches, reassuring.
“I mean she’s nuts in her way and he’s nuts
in his way and they’re both nuts in different ways. A
person doesn’t know which way to turn.” I push
my forehead against his shoulder and he licks the side of my
neck. Ummmmmm. We’ve had sex so many times this week
that my cock hurts and my butt feels like it’s…..well…..gotten
a lot of attention.
Pete pulls me close and then rolls slowly
onto his back pulling me along and I curl up with my head
on his chest and his left
arm around my shoulders. He kisses the top of my head. “You
can always turn to me.”
“My mom wants to cook for the commitment ceremony. She
wants us to have it here. God only knows what she’s planning!”
Pete’s thumb is gently rubbing the back of my neck. “Well………..is
there gonna be that many people to cook for? I mean I guess
that I hadn’t thought about it.”
“There’s your mom and dad and my mom and dad and,
of course, Jase.” I moved my left leg over Pete’s
right. “But…….I mean the thing is, if you’re
gonna have this ceremony it seems to me the whole point of
it is to let as many of your friends and associates know as
possible. Like the people at your clinic, shouldn’t they
know, shouldn’t they be invited?” God! Did this
mean the people from my office too? I mean they know that I’m
gay and they know that Pete and I are lovers; it’s just
that who the hell wants to see em when you don’t have
to. “Have you talked to your mom about it?”
I could hear Pete thinking. “No……………………but
she’s gonna wanna bring my Aunt Grace too…………….and
maybe a few others.”
Is this whole thing going to be embarrassing?
I got a feeling that maybe it is, well…………..on some
level anyway. For one thing, Pete’s Aunt Grace is like
a society type, something I definitely am not. You might even
say that I’m an anti-society type. Well, there is an
antidote who’s just choppin at the bit.
I lift my head and look at Pete who I
can’t really see
anyway because it’s dark. “Pete………..why
don’t we just let my mom take care of the whole thing?
She’s dying to do it and it’ll make it a hell of
a lot easier on us. Besides neither one of us has the time
it’ll take to do justice to this.” One of the advantages
of mom is that she has a way of kinda molding things to the
way that she likes em.
I gently thrust my cock against Pete’s leg and kiss
his chin. “Whadya think?”
Pete pulls my face to his and buries
his tongue in my mouth while he slowly rolls me over and
pushes my legs apart with
his. He murmurs into my mouth. “Yeah, Babe……..that’s