The Good Doctor 24

I push Pete’s cock down and then move against him letting his dick spring up between my legs and press up against my balls. I wrap my arms around his neck tip my head up and kiss him. He tastes steamy, damp and clean.

I smile up at him and squeeze his dick between my legs. “If you needed to fuck we probably should have done it in the shower.” He grins back sheepishly.

“It’s kinda got a mind of its own today. Just ignore it.”

“It’s practically lifting me off the floor!” I press my forehead to his shoulder and try to blot out the sounds coming from the rest of the house. It sounds like my mother and her band of helpers are disassembling a car somewhere in the vicinity of the kitchen.

I’m a boring person, the thing that I want most is for us to be left alone. My idea of a great evening is watching television with my head on Pete’s lap while Jase is glued to his regular spot directly in front of it. That’s the tv…………..not Pete’s lap.

I guess that’s why I’m ambivalent about this whole commitment ceremony. Not that I don’t for a second feel committed to Pete and not that I don’t want the world to know, that’s all fine with me. I just don’t want everything turned into some sort of circus. Like I’ve got some chance of getting what the fuck I want.

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I started walking out of the bedroom like a zombie when Pete grabbed me and pulled me back in. He took my face in his hands and said. “Just relax, you can do this.”

I shook my head no. “I’m gonna fuck it up. I don’t know how but it’s gonna happen, I’ll probably forget the vows, maybe throw up, I could just pass out. If I pass out just keep the ceremony going cause I don’t wanna wake up and have to go through this again.” He thinks that I’m kidding.

Still holding my face gently in his hands Pete kissed me. “Nothing that you do……..or don’t do………..or say or don’t say is going to change how I feel about you. That’s a done deal, this crap is window dressing.”

“My mother’s gonna kill me. She’s out there just waiting for me to screw up so that she can club me to death with it for the rest of my life. Her life would have been perfect if it hadn’t been for that one day when Eric screwed up and robbed her life of all meaning.”

“Eric, that’s not gonna happen. Your mother is not waiting for you to fail, she wants the best for you.” He’s so naïve. “Besides she’s worked really hard on this, she wants it to be perfect for you………..for us.”

I hear Jase come pounding down the hallway and then he bursts into our room. “Dad, look!” Oh my God! “Grandma made me wear it!”

“Ahhhhhhh nooooooooooo, Jase. It’s fine. You look…….cute.” Jase climbs up on our bed and sits there with his feet dangling off. “Dad!!! I look stupid!”

Pete hunkers down next to the bed and puts his hand on Jase’s shoulder. “Jase, you look really grownup…………….with your little…….suit. You’re gonna be lookin great at the ceremony.”

I sit down next to Jase and put my arm around his shoulders and pull him to me. “I won’t lie to you, Kiddo. It’s as bad as you think it is and there’s nothing any of us can do about it. This is one of those times when you just gotta suck it up and hope to hell it passes quickly.”

Jase is staring down at his lap and twisting his fingers. He speaks quietly. “Well……………at least everybody here is old. I guess that my friends won’t find out.”

“Hell yes, Jase! By the time most of your friends are able to understand the concept of coordinating colors most of the people in the kitchen right now will have died.”

Pete glares at me. “Eric! I really don’t think that we ought to be thinking that far ahead where little boys are concerned.” Everybody uses my name like a swear word.

Jase and I come simultaneously to the notion of resignation and we both nod in agreement and drop our heads.

Pete drops his hands in frustration and stands in front of us. “Will you two please suck it up? Come on, if we’re gonna get through this we gotta do it together! I can’t make this happen by myself. Work with me!”

Then we suddenly hear a sharp loud banging on the bedroom door. “Eric! Eric!” It’s my mother and I silently turn the lock in the doorknob. Her voice is a whisper but it’s still like a serrated knife cutting through tin. “Eric! Eric, don’t you dare hide in this bedroom! Eric, I’m counting to ten!”

Well there’s no reason we should all die. I stand up square my shoulders and then open the door and slip into the hallway. I smile. “Mom! I was helping Jase with his tie.” I put my hands on her shoulders ignoring her glare. “Mom you look wonderful! That color is fantastic on you! You look ten years younger!” Some of this is actually true. I kiss the side of her face lightly. “Grandpa would be so proud of you. He always said that you were the prettiest.” The mention of Grandpa is like using the neutron bomb and she begins to melt.

She lightly touches her hair. “I got my hair done. Mrs. Slovotny did it special for me.”

“It’s beautiful.” My voice is soft and I raise my hand to her hair being careful not to actually touch it. “You’re beautiful, does Dad realize that he came with the prettiest girl in town?”

Her expression changes like lightning and she shifts all of her weight to one side. “That man? He wanted to come in jeans! Denim!!” She lifts her hands and drops them. “That’s what I get for not marrying an Italian! God is punishing me.” She touches my cheek with the tips of her fingers and sighs. “My baby!” Then she shakes her head and waves her hands. “No, no I don’t have time for this…………..my sauce.” She gestures toward the kitchen and then stops and stares up at me. “You’ll always be my baby.”

I smile down at her. “I know, Mom. Go to your sauce.”

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I can feel people’s eyes on me. It feels weird and I’m fidgeting. Pete’s eyes are so blue and he looks soooooo handsome. I guess he figures it’s time for an intervention and he reaches out and hooks his finger around mine. I relax. He has that effect on me. This is about us, not them, well a little about them. After all that’s why we invited them. Stop thinking!!!

The minister drops his voice to a whisper. “You guys gonna be okay?”

Pete says. “Yes.” And then with a kind of smile. “And yes for him too.”

John, that’s the minister, takes a quick look at me and figures he’ll go with what he’s got while it’s still hanging together and begins the ceremony.

“Ladies and gentlemen we are here to formalize the union of Eric and Peter.” Eric and Peter, that’s Pete’s name, Peter, which is another name for cock so this is really formalizing a union between Eric and cock. Oh fuck! Stop thinking!!!! Pete’s got a big cock, big and thick, and huge low hanging balls. Shit! I’m getting a hardon. And I’m wearing boxers! Just think about the time you walked in on Grandma taking a bath. Oh whew, that’s better. God, how do breasts ever get in that condition? Stop thinking!!!!

My Grandpa had a good body. Well for an eighty year old man but it was probably fantastic when he was like thirty. Even when he was old his butt never sagged. You know like sometimes with old people they get these really saggy butts but Grandpa’s was hard. I saw him in the shower once. Oh, fucking great, you’re thinking about your dead Grandfather’s ass. Stop thinking!!!!

“Eric do you agree to hold Peter as……………………” Huh? Pete’s nodding yes like he wants me to do the same thing and I do. For all I know I just agreed to be sold as a sex slave. I feel a little dizzy. I wonder how bad I’d hurt myself if I did pass out? I passed out that time I went to summer camp and I got the flu or something. I remember lining up for breakfast in the morning and smelling that kinda rancid fat smell and then I looked down at the ground and somebody had hawked up a huge glob of phlegm and spat it out on the ground. I took one look at the fucking thing and the next thing I knew I was waking up in the infirmary. Well it wasn’t really the infirmary because they didn’t have one. It was actually the storage hut that had been cleared out and somebody had put a cot in it. I woke up looking into the eyes of one of the camp counselors. He had the most beautiful eyes and his breath smelled of bacon. Mom had to drive all that way to pick me up and then she embarrassed me by cursing out all the camp people.

Pete’s got this weird look on his face. What’d I do? John is still talking so it can’t be that. Oh! Ohhhhh gee the ceiling.

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I think Pete is holding my hand, maybe it’s Jase, no the hand is too big. I don’t want to open my eyes but I do.

“Eric, is there one fucking thing in this whole world that you don’t fuck up?” Oh, God no!

I pull my hand away. “I didn’t do it on purpose, Rose! It’s an autonomic response……..or something like that, anyway it’s not something you decide to do it’s something that just happens. It wasn’t a fake faint like you used to do when you were a teenager so that the local boys could look up your skirt without feeling odd.” I started to sit up and then decided to just try leaning against the headboard.

I could hear all of the sounds appropriate to a party of a hundred or so people. “It doesn’t sound like my near death experience has slowed anything down.”

Rose laughed. “No your Mom just yelled that dinner was served and I was lucky to get out of the way of the stampeding mob. That woman sure can cook.”

“It’s nice to know that my humiliation gave Mom an opportunity to introduce her latest snacks.”

Rose crossed her legs opened her handbag and pulled out a compact. While she checked out her makeup she asked. “How’s my lipstick?” A painted fingernail touched up a corner of her mouth.

“The usual, Rose, too much, too red, too thick. You know, at your age you really oughta think about lighter shades. You look like Madonna at eighty.” I shifted my position on the bed.

“How’s Pete handling this?”

“Okay I guess. Last time I saw him he had his hand on the minister’s ass.”

“Oh fuck!” I started to get up but she pushed me back down.

“Kidding! Jesus you’re sensitive! Your beloved carried you in here and laid you tenderly on the bed, where presumably he has laid you in the past………..not quite as tenderly unless I miss my guess. I always figured you for a screamer.”

“That’s odd, Rose I always figured the same about your boyfriends. Or should I say gentlemen callers?”

“He then proceeded to try to get everyone else’s mind off of it and on to eating. He’s a very charming man.”

“How’s my son?”

“Loyal! If you had been my father I would have pretended that I didn’t know you.”

“And my Mom?”

Rose laughed. “Well, that’s the odd thing. She didn’t really seem to mind. I mean she was concerned that you were all right but once she saw that Pete was taking care of you it was like it hadn’t happened. Maybe she expected it………..I would have.”

This really doesn’t sound all that bad. “So on balance, Rose, how would you say the whole thing went?”

She smiled and slowly shook her head. She reached out and patted my chest. “You are a piece of work, Eric, a real piece of work. Well, to answer your question, not bad, certainly better than I expected. Your Mom’s cooking could save about anything and oddly enough you collapsed at almost the perfect moment. Pretty much as the hunky minister was pronouncing you Doctor and nutcase you did your dramatic little thing. You know…………..it almost seemed appropriate.”

“Ahh, you think Pete is mad at me?”

She looked surprised. “Eric, who the hell have you been living with for these last seven months?” She snapped her compact closed and dropped it in her purse. “You know that he never takes his eyes off of you? Holly crap, Eric, you can feel the sexual energy radiating off of that guy from across the room. You know it reminds me of my very first boyfriend……….”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, Rose. You mean you don’t think he’s upset with me for passing out?”

“No you idiot! He loves you, for reasons that totally escape me, he doesn’t give a fuck what you do as long as you do it with him. How the hell can you not know this?”

“I guess that I knew it, Rose. I mean……..you know……he’s told me that……but I guess that on some level I’ve always wondered why?”

Rose looked up and then stood. “You’re asking the wrong person, Eric.” She slid out of the door.

Pete slowly shut the door and then locked it. He sat down on the edge of the bed and smiled at me. “Squirrelly little fucker.”

He got up and walked over to the dresser and came back with a framed picture of my Grandfather. “What do you see?”

“My Grandpa.”

“Describe him, the way that he looks.”

I’m confused. “He looks very Italian, dark hair, slim. A handsome guy.”

He put the picture down on the bed. “I’m in love with you not just for the way that you look…………….but just based on that, nothing else………..you’re better looking than him. How many times have I told you that and why don’t you believe me?”

I tugged at him until he leaned forward and kissed me. “I believe you.”

“I think in the past I’ve also mentioned your butt.”

Kiss. “I believe you.”

“You actually work for a living.”

Kiss. “I believe you.”

I like your kid.

Kiss. “I believe you.”