The Good Doctor 3

Jase and I walk to his bedroom holding hands, he’s wearing dark blue dinosaur pajamas. He lets me lift him into bed and pull the covers up. “Noses, Dad!”

We rub noses, just like the Eskimos used to do or at least what we think that they used to do. He reaches out and touches the tip of my nose. “Dad, you know what? You can’t stay up late. You gotta go to work tomorrow.”

“I promise, Jase.” I kiss him on his cheek and he giggles and then I turn out the light, give his hand a squeeze and walk quietly back to Pete.

I’m overcome with the emotion my son brings out in me. Sometimes it just hits me! Sometimes the magnitude of what he means to me just bowls me over. Nothing prepares you for being a dad! It’s impossible to know beforehand the changes that a kid is going to make in your life. He becomes your life at least in some ways.

Pete and I are sitting on the floor leaning back against the sofa, we’re sipping decaf coffee. He looks over at me and says. “You okay?”

I rub my eyes with the palms of my hands and then smile. “Yeah I’m good. Sometimes it just………………….kinda the totality of how I feel about Jason.” I drop my head back against the sofa and then turn it towards Pete. “Doesn’t help being Italian, we’re kinda emotional from the get go.”

Pete is smiling at me, probably because he thinks that I’m some sort of fucking weirdo and he’s trying to figure out how fast he can get outta here without setting me off.

He turns towards me and then reaches out slowly and holds the side of my head with his right hand. Leaning forward he kisses me gently, still no tongues but a lotta heat. Of course it takes two tongues to tango and I haven’t tried slipping him mine either.

He’s so muscular. It doesn’t show up much under a lab coat but the couple of times that he’s held me and kissed me I’ve been aware of just how powerful his body is. Lotsa workout time involved there.

He turns back around so that he’s sitting and leaning against the sofa normally but somehow he’s come into possession of my right hand and it rests in his left. His hand is warm and dry and feels pretty good, so I don’t mention it and neither does he. It’s just there.

“Weren’t you working with your dad? Wasn’t he about to retire?” His thumb is gently rubbing the top of my thumb.

“Yeah, he did. It still seems weird, Cortland Industrial Supply. When I was a little kid I used to help clean up the office and then when I was in high school I worked in the warehouse but I never thought that it’d be mine, that I’d actually be in charge. Mom told me tonight that she wants me to call him and talk about the business, that he misses talking about it.”

Pete squeezed my hand and pressed it to his leg. “It’s really important for older people to feel that they’re still involved. In effect, that you still need them. I see it all the time in my practice. Well anyway, my point is that you really should talk to him. It means so much to them, way more than you can imagine. Just a few moments of your time can be really huge to them and actually have a very positive effect on his health.” Then he gives me a goofy “sorry I was acting like a doctor,” smile.

“When Jason’s mother died,” Why the fuck did I put it like that? Where did those words come from? “I told my mom and dad that I was gay. They pretty much freaked at first. Well, mom freaked, dad just kinda got quiet. He does that. That’s kinda what he does when things get like, personal. Mom is nothing but personal. You don’t ever have to guess at what she’s thinking but my dad doesn’t like to talk about that stuff. We never did talk about the whole gay thing, I mean my dad and me. He just pretends that it’s not happening and so I just never say anything either. Like it doesn’t exist.”

I roll my head towards him and look into those blue eyes staring back at me. “Jason fills the gap with my dad. Like he figures he’s got another chance at someone being normal or what he wants normal to be.”

Pete pulls my arm up and holds my hand to his chest. “What about your mom. Apparently she got over it.”

“She went totally loco for a couple of weeks but in the end, after I got a chance to talk to her and have her listen, she came around. I told her that it wasn’t like something that I planned and it wasn’t something that was going away. Mom is a realist. A real here and now kinda person.”

“Does………………………….Jason know? I mean does he have any understanding of the shift in things?”

“Maybe. I mean that he seems sometimes to kinda get it. Little kids are pretty sharp and he seems to be aware of the fact that I don’t show any interest in women but I’m not sure that he’s able to take it further than that.”

I sat up and took Pete’s hand. “Let’s go into the kitchen, this is killing my back.” We got up and I was at last able to stretch. As we walked into the kitchen I suddenly felt Pete’s hands on my shoulders, kneading them.

“Oh fuck that feels good!” After I said it it dawned on me that I might like to rearrange those words. No, not yet. I don’t really know who he is, gotta know that first.

“You have a problem with your back?” Damn he’s got strong hands.

“Just that position. Always nails me.” Great, he’s gonna think that I’m talking about sex!

“Your shoulders are all tight.” I won’t even go there.

“Want some Tiramisu? I’ve got lots.” When in doubt, eat! Tiramisu is mom’s idea of a tactical nuclear weapon, not really the big one, just something she lobs in from time to time.

Pete put his mouth right at my ear, his hands were still massaging. “I don’t make you nervous do I?” His voice was quiet and throaty. My cock likes quiet and throaty and began responding as expected until I had a good talk with it about restraint and the need to get to know your sex partners. “Cause I don’t wanna make you nervous, horny maybe but not nervous.”

I turned in his arms faced him and smiled. “Yeah, like I need more horny!” I lead him gently by the arm to a kitchen chair. I took the one opposite.

“I seem to remember that your dad is a doctor. Tell me about him. Do you like him?”

Pete smiled, a contented smile like he was remembering something nice. “My dad’s a cardiologist, the best. My mom is a psychologist.” He shut up and smiled at me. Those blue eyes have dark edges to the iris that gives them a penetrating quality. There is some light brown hair sticking up above the top button of his pale blue shirt.

“It sounds like you do like him.” I bet that the hair on his chest is really, really soft.

Pete ducked his head and his blond hair spilled over his forehead a bit. “Yeah, I do. It seems strange to say it because I guess we never, ever, talk about it, but yeah I do.”

“Do they know that you’re gay?” Nosy little fucker aren’t I?

Pete opened his mouth and then closed it like he wanted to think a bit more before he spoke. “Yep, they do. So does Dr. Malvec. I told him when I interviewed for the job.” Geez that takes guts!

“I guess that I can assume that it didn’t bother him.”

Pete looked quickly around the kitchen almost like he was looking to escape. Then he dropped his head his voice was barely a whisper. “I fell in love with you.” He glanced up at me and gave me a funny little smile. “I doesn’t make any sense and I’ve tried to talk myself out of it for a couple of months now but I fell in love with you when we met at that block party.” He was staring down at his empty plate and running his finger around the edge.

“How?” My mouth had gone suddenly dry and I could feel my heart pounding. “How could that happen? You…………you didn’t say anything.” I raised my hand to my forehead more than a bit stunned. “I remember you talking about your house and the neighborhood and stuff like that but you never said anything about love. I woulda remembered.”

Pete looked like he was headed into full panic mode. “I better go. I gotta stop at the hospital tomorrow morning and see a couple of patients.” He started to stand up.

“Go? Go? You can’t tell me something like that and then just go!” That’s the Nora Desmond in me coming out.

He came around the table and bent down and kissed me. “I’m not running. Well, I am but I have to. I really do need to see those patients…………….and you need time to think.” He touched the back of my hand with his fingertips. “There was no perfect time to tell you.” He sighed deeply and smiled at me. “I’m usually smoother than this, really. It’s just that you kinda short circuit my brain.”

I’ve only had gay sex four times……….honest. The first time was at the rest stop out on the interstate. I blew a trucker a little bit and he blew me a lot. The second time was also at the rest stop but that time it was a college kid and he only wanted to get a blowjob. I did it badly but he shot in my mouth anyway. I didn’t swallow it and thought that I was gonna puke. Funny what you can get used to and even come to crave. The third time was some sort of businessman and we just beat each other off in a stall. That was the first time that I kissed a guy and it sizzled in my brain for months. The fourth time was another trucker and we had sex in the sleeper part of his eighteen-wheeler. That was fantastic sex with loads of slow passionate kissing and a mind-blowing orgasm with his finger up my butt. I can still feel that finger.

I’m a relationship kinda guy, a half of a whole. Janet and I went together for a couple of years before we lived together and then got married. Don’t think that mom didn’t put her two cents worth in on that. It was wonderful. It was horrible. It was cut short. I can’t think about that! Jason is the result, that’s what counts. The little boy that wakes me up at six o’clock in the morning to help him put together a puzzle that he’s spread out all over my bed while I’ve slept.

“I can’t help, Jason! My eyes won’t open!”

“Whadya mean, Dad?”

“See my eyes? There closed! They won’t open!”

“Ya gotta open em, Dad!”

“How do ya open em?”

“Huh?”

“How do I open my eyes?”

Growing frustration. “Dad, you gotta open em from inside!”

“But how do I DO that?”

“You just gotta push em open, Dad!” He finally pries them open. “See! Like that!”

See? I’m just a kid myself.

Jase and I are cooking breakfast in our underwear, boxers for me and blue briefs for him.
Between the two of us we can just manage scrambled eggs and toast. Jase does the toast cause it’s safer than the stove. Actually he just puts the bread in the toaster and pushes the knob down. I take it out and butter it and in Jase’s case put jelly on it and cut it into triangles.

So far I’ve used my Arnold Schwarzenegger Terminator accent on him and a little Doctor Strangelove. He keeps coming back for more and pretty soon we’re both doing it. Jase is strutting around with his chest all puffed up and his arms out.

This is, of course the exact moment my mom makes her unannounced appearance. Why did I give this woman a key?

“You’re not DRESSED!” She literally throws up her hands. “You’re both gonna be late!” Hands on hips.

Jase, being the smarter of us takes off running for his bedroom. I, being the idiot, hang around.

“Mom! You know that if I get a boyfriend you can’t be making these unannounced appearances. We’re gonna need notice. Maybe an email.” I bite back the remark about flying monkeys, after all, I do love her and she means well.

“Baaah! You and your email!” But the boyfriend remark is beginning to sink in and while she’s doing the dishes. “You and Doctor O’Connor got along okay?” I get this feeling that Eleanor’s got it all on tape.

“Mom, I gotta get dressed. I’m a grown man and you’re not supposed to be seeing me in my underwear.” I turn for the bedroom but suppress a desire to sprint.

“Baah!” The hand waves again. “I seen you in less than that!” I may never get an erection again.