The Good Doctor Part II Chapter 1
I was in the hazy state of almost being awake, but not wanting it to happen. I was also aware that my hand, which was under my face, was wet and without really thinking about it, I knew it was spit and that it was coming from my mouth.
“Dad!” It was a whisper, one of those whispers that wants to be a yell but isn’t. “Dad, are you awake?” There oughta be a law that fathers can’t be bothered when they’re taking a nap. Well, not really.
I lifted my head an inch and tried to speak. “Jase.” It sounded like a frog had been wrapped in gravel and shoved into my mouth. I cleared my throat and tried again. “Wha, Jase?”
“You gotta open your eyes.”
I shook my head slightly, settled my face back down onto my wet, slimy, hand and muttered. “Un uh.”
He poked me in the shoulder - something my family loves to do - and you’d think because he’s so little that it wouldn’t hurt, but it does. “Ow!” But I still didn’t open my eyes. What I did do is reach behind me. The hunk of human flesh that’s my partner was no longer pressed warmly to my back.
I mumbled, “Wha happena Pete?” but still didn’t open my eyes.
I could hear Jase’s voice close to my face. “He hadda go to the hospital. Somebody was sick.” Somebody was always sick. “Dad, you got bad breath.” Yeah, and I’m sure I look just fabulous.
I still didn’t open my eyes, but I lifted my head a little more and said, “You got a….” Jase shoved a Kleenex into my hand and I wiped my face.
I opened my eyes. “Thanks, Jase.”
I swung my legs off the sofa, yawned and said, “He say when he’d be back?”
“Nope, but when he hung up the phone, he said, “Oh poop!”
I smiled. “He said, “Oh poop?”
“He didn’t say poop, he said the other word. Grandma says I shouldn’t use that word and that you shouldn’t either.” He leaned against me and rested his arm on my shoulder. “She says you talk bad.” There was some truth to that.
I ruffled his hair and then pushed myself off the sofa and stood up. “I gotta wash my face…and pee.”
Jase grabbed a belt loop on my jeans like he wanted to hang on to my attention and walked with me. “Dad, can we get a tent?”
“A tent? You mean like a camping tent?”
“Ernie and me wanna go camping.”
In the bathroom Jase boosted himself up onto the counter next to the sink, and I walked over to the toilet, pulled my dick out of my pants, and peed. I called over my shoulder, “Jase, it seems like you’re too young to go camping.” God knows there was no way that I was going camping.
“I’m not too young, Dad! I’m gonna be in third grade in a couple of weeks.” I can’t believe he’s eight already, and I can’t believe the summer is almost gone and he’s going back to school.
When I finished peeing,\ I ran the water in the sink until it was warm, then scooped it up and splashed it all over my face and hair. Jase was watching every move I made, and I knew that he was wondering if he could splash water on his face, too. I had never seen him do that, he always used a wash cloth, and he was always very careful. I grabbed a towel and dried my face and hair.
“Besides, Ernie’s mom says that it’d be okay if we just did it in the back yard.”
I ran a bead of toothpaste onto my toothbrush. “Our back yard or their back yard?”
He screwed up his face. “I dunno, does it matter?” Probably not. Ernie’s house was one door down but on the street behind us, the backs of our yards were almost together.
He was all excited about this. It occurred to me that I could mention the possibility of bears. After all, Connecticut is lousy with them and Jase has this old fear of them, but that seemed unfair. Besides, while we live in a small town I couldn’t remember ever seeing a bear.
Jase must have been reading my mind because he said forcefully, “Don’t try and tell me about bears, Dad, cause Charlie’ll be there to protect us!” And at the mention of his name, Charlie came click-clacking on the tile floor into the bathroom and shoved his nose into Jason’s crotch like he was after a rabbit. You gotta love dogs.
As Jase pushed on his dogs head and furiously backpedalled, trying to get away from a probing nose that seemed to have all the concentration of a missile that had acquired its target, I said, “Oh yeah? Well who was it that told me not two weeks ago that there had been 722 bear sightings in Connecticut? Charlie would be lunch!” People don’t realize how rural Connecticut can be. We’re like up to our asses in bears.
Jase yelled at Charlie, “Will you stop doing that!” Charlie pulled back with obvious reluctance, sat down and tilted his head as if to say, “What the hell did I do?”
Jase held his hands at his crotch to ward off another probing nose attack, and at the same time looked like the notion of whining was crossing his mind, but then that changed to a look of inspiration. “How about if we set the tent up in the basement?”
I stopped brushing and spoke through a mouthful of minty foam. “You mean if we had a tent.” I don’t know what tents cost, but you can bet that it’s plenty.
Jase was polishing the top of the faucet with his fingertip. “Well, you and Pete could use it too.” That did remind me of a movie I’d seen.
I laid back and stretched out. There was plenty of room. It was darker in here, but the lights from the store still illuminated it well. In another part of the store I could hear someone being sold a set of golf clubs and in another direction a guy was complaining about running shoes. The smell of vinyl covered cloth filled my nostrils and I’m pretty sure it was one of the causes of my growing hardon, the other cause would be appearing soon. The tent flap opened and Pete came duck walking in all bent over. Behind him and outside of the tent I could see the legs of the salesman. He really didn’t look like a tent salesman, he was pretty old and his voice was weirdly high. Although I’m not sure what a tent salesman is supposed to look like, so maybe he fit the bill perfectly.
The salesman said loudly so that we could hear him from inside the tent, “This is a four season model and while it’s rated as a two man tent, you could probably sleep four.”
Pete called back, “We’ll think about it!” Then he plopped down next to me.
He looked around and said, “You think this’d be okay for the boys?”
He was still wearing his grey suit, but his tie was off, the top three buttons of his blue shirt were open, and his dark blond chest hair was poking out, looking inviting. I looked to the doorway and then, satisfied that the salesman couldn’t actually see us, I slid my hand into the top of his shirt and caressed his warm, muscular, hairy chest. Before he had a chance to push me away I leaned in and said softly, “I saw this movie where the quarterback of the football team is on a camping trip with this really handsome but nerdy guy.”
Pete’s body jerked, he shot a quick glance at the doorway, then suddenly clamped a big hand over my mouth and frantically mouthed the words, “ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?”
The salesman called out, “Are you okay in there?”
Pete yelled up to the salesman, “Could you see if you’ve got sleeping bags to go with this?”
In a voice that implied he had never thought of that, the salesman said, “Oh. Well…I’m sure we do….I’ll just check.”
I rolled over on my side facing Pete and, while he still had his hand on my mouth, lifted my eyebrows in an unspoken suggestion.
Pete growled in a low whisper, “Eric, this is a store, a public place, and if you so much as touch my dick I’m gonna medicate you!” I shoved the tip of my tongue wetly between his fingers covering my mouth and he jerked his hand away like it was on fire.
He was shaking his wet fingers like they had burning napalm on them. “Eric, that’s disgusting!”
“Oh, for God’s sake, it’s just a little spit! Besides, all the best stuff is disgusting.”
I leaned in towards him and whispered, “I’m just saying that in the movie the little nerdy guy was clueless and the handsome quarterback got him to suck his dick, then fucked the crap outta him.” I extended my knee until it touched the side of his leg, but he pulled it away.
I leaned in closer to him and whispered, “Wanna see the position the nerdy guy was in?” Honestly, I don’t know why he listens to me. He gets this spellbound look on his handsome face like he actually thinks I have something to say. “We could set this up in the basement and reenact those scenes.” I put my hand on his warm chest and then lightly rubbed his nipple beneath the fabric. He inhaled sharply, then his mouth dropped opened a little while he stared into my eyes. A lock of his dark blond hair drifted down over his forehead, then he blinked, exhaled deeply, and whispered, “What planet are you actually from? And don’t even try to tell me this one, because there’s no freakin way…..”
I heard the salesman coming back dragging something that sounded cardboardy and heavy.
We both got up to leave the tent, but I pushed ahead of Pete, so basically I was on my hands and knees with my head out of the tent and Pete was behind me and a little bit over me. I stopped suddenly and Pete made a little “Ouumph” noise as his crotch bumped into my butt and his hands came to rest on my back.
I looked up at the salesman, who was standing there with one red sleeping bag in his hand and a box next to him that obviously contained more. He said, “These are North Face and they’d…oh, they’d be good to forty or fifty below.”
I said, “Well take three of those and the tent.”
Meanwhile, behind me Pete had lifted his hands off my back and I had come to the conclusion that if I pushed this any further it would be counterproductive, breeding wise, so I got out of the tent. Pete took a minute longer and while he was still in the tent I felt, as much as saw, him taking off his suit coat. Anyway, when he got out of the tent he holding it in front of himself, I figured that my work was done.
When we got home there was a pot of water on the stove, a hunk of Panchetta on the counter, and a bowl of freshly grated Romano cheese and a dozen eggs next to it, which, if my mother was around, would amount to Spaghetti Carbonara. Jase was sitting at the kitchen table by himself eating a sandwich made of Ciabatta bread and filled with sautéed escarole and sausage. It smelled fantastic and was about as big as his head.
While Pete went into the bedroom to change his clothes I slid into the chair next to Jase. “Gimme a bite.”
Jase carefully held the sandwich in both hands and held it out so that I could take just a bite. While I was chewing, I said, “Where’s your grandma?” He just shrugged in the way that little boys do.
“I dunno. She was lookin for something, but now I dunno where she is.” She was looking for something? That might be bad.
I got up and walked into the living room and then the dining room, no mom. I checked out the bedrooms, and when I poked my head into ours I got to watch Pete cramming his impressive equipment into a pair of his well-worn jeans.
Pete looked up from that and said, “Wha?”
I said, “I’m trying to find my mother and I gotta get her before she stumbles into something, but…” I pointed at his crotch. “but ahh…don’t forget about that.”
I shot out to the back yard, but she wasn’t there. There was no place else, well, except for the basement, but she never goes there. I went through the garage and into the laundry room. That’s when I heard a small crash from the basement. She hates basements.
I crept down the stairs and there she was standing in the middle of the basement looking around. When I got to the bottom of the stairs she heard me and turned around.
“Oh, Eric. Don’t you ever clean down here?” She waved a hand. “Well, anyway, I’m glad you’re home.” She looked around like she thought someone might be down there listening to us. She practically whispered. “I gotta do something with this!”
She held out a brown envelope. I said, “What is it?” I have this irrational fear that one day she’ll bring home a severed head and ask me to bury it.
She shoved it into my hands. “It’s rents. I’m running outta places to hide them at home, your father went into my purse to get a mint and found it. You gotta keep it for me.”
“Ma, what the hell are you talking about?” She always does this, just goes on and on about nothing. Well, all women do really.
She looked at me and then shook her head. “It’s rents! The rents I collect every month. Eric, we’ve talked about this. Sometimes people pay in cash, and I running out of places to hide it.”
I exhaled heavily just so she’d understand how nutty I thought this was. “Ma, I don’t think you’re supposed to be doing that.” It was a really thick envelope. “How much is in here?”
She looked around distractedly. “Fifteen thousand or so. There should be someplace here to hide it.”
I guess I wasn’t too surprised, apparently she’d been squirreling away this money for years. “Well dad can’t be too surprised that you’ve been putting away some money. Don’t all women do that?” It seems to me that I read that in a magazine at my dentist’s office.
She was looking at the floor and shook her head. “I hate basements!”
“Besides, Ma, don’t I then become an accomplice in your plot to cheat the IRS?”
She gave me a look of disgust and shook her head. “This isn’t to cheat on my taxes, Eric, I’m not an idiot. Mostly, I don’t pay any taxes, so there aren’t any to cheat on.”
“Well, I don’t see why you can’t just tell dad that you’ve put away this money. I mean it’s a lotta money, but still.” I held up the envelope and looked at it. “How do you not pay taxes?”
She grabbed the envelope. “Eric, that’s just from last month. And I just don’t want your father to see it. It makes him tense. I don’t pay taxes because I’ve got a good CPA and a great attorney.” She does have an amazing attorney.
“Tense? Dad?” Just one month?
“He’s old fashioned. He never really got used to the idea that I might know how to make money. So I don’t like waving this in his face.” She shook her head and shoved the envelope back into her purse. “I have to cook, I’ll figure this out later. What did you boys buy?”
“Well, wait a minute. What about the health club? Where does he think you got the money for that?”
She waved a hand dismissively. “I told him Pete paid for it. Believe me, as far as your father is concerned, it doesn’t even count as a business. The industrial supply is a business, a factory is a business, anything else is inconceivable, it doesn’t even register.”
“Well, what does he think I do for a living?”
She reached out and patted my cheek. “He thinks you play, Eric.” Oh great! My father thinks I’m some sort of tennis bum.
“Oh, for goodness sake, Eric, it’s not the worst thing, and you know what you do, so why would you care?”
“Cause I don’t want my father thinking I’m a bum!”
“He doesn’t think that! He just thinks that you’re being…well, you. Like when you tried to be a model with those dirty pictures.” She wagged a finger at me. “And if you talk to him, don’t give him any ideas about my houses.”
“Ma! I wasn’t trying to be a model, and those weren’t dirty pictures!” I swear to God, women are all crazy!
“Eric, I saw the pictures, everyone saw the pictures, and please don’t ever do that again.” Oh, fer cryin out loud!
“Ma, those weren’t dirty….” But she was already on her way upstairs.
She turned and shook her finger at me again. “Eric, nobody looks that way by accident.” She shook her head. “You’re just like ‘him’!” My grandfather and the porn gene, that’s just great.
After a huge dinner, Pete and I flopped down on the sofa in the living room and tried to digest the thirty-six thousand calories we’d probably just consumed. I was really hoping that my body would be dealing with all the food quickly because I had plans.
Part one of my plan was Jase and getting him to sleep. In my experience, the best way to do that is to read to him, so after a lot of arguing back and forth he brought me one of the books in the Harry Potter series ‘The Magic Penis of Doom’ or something like that. Anyway, halfway through the first chapter I could tell that Jase’s pulse had dropped to about ten and his eyes were losing a battle with closing.
I whispered very softly in his ear, “I think it’s time for bed.”
He turned against my chest and mumbled, “Not yet, Dad. Just a couple more minutes.” That sounds like he’s awake, but I know better and carefully carried him to his room where Alan’s giant emerald green paws awaited.
After putting Jase in bed and making sure that he was asleep, I went back into the living room and knelt down next to the sofa Pete was napping on. He’s so handsome, and when he’s asleep he’s even more handsome. I bent over and kissed his warm neck. At first it didn’t seem to have any effect, but then the corner of his eye moved.
I whispered in his ear, “We’ve got a tent to put up.”
He made a soft grunting sound, rolled over onto his stomach and gently humped the sofa. He mumbled, “I got your tent right here.” His right hand dropped off the sofa and somehow found its way to my butt and began a gentle probing of the crease in my jeans.
Pete looked up and gave me a sleepy smile. “Not that it matters, but what was your mom doing in the clock?” We have this old tall case clock that my dad gave us and it sits in the foyer. My mom was stashing her loot in a secret compartment in the base of it. Well, secret if you accept that everyone knowing about it still allows it to be a secret.
“She’s run out of places to hide money from my father.”
Pete grinned and pulled my head down and softly kissed me. Then he pulled back and looked into my eyes and smiled. “You have such an interesting family. My mom and dad just put their money in the bank.”
He rolled over onto his back and pulled me down so that I was lying on top of him, crushing our hardons between us.
He said softly into my ear. “I know you had orgiastic plans for the tent, and that we were going to keep it as a surprise for the kids, but I got to thinking that maybe helping put the tent up might be a big deal for Jase.” I hate it when he’s the one who’s always thinking about everyone else and I’m not.
“Pete, you’ve got a golden opportunity to recreate a piece of classic porn. It seems like it’d be a shame to waste it.” The fact was that I didn’t really care all that much one way or the other.
He put one hand under my butt and the other arm around my shoulders and suddenly pivoted so that we were sitting on the sofa with me in his lap facing him, then in a move that had to use up even his strength, he stood up with me in his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist to keep from dropping and to make it easier for him.
He said softly, “C’mon to bed. I got another movie in mind.”